I really enjoyed this event. We were put into breakout rooms to discuss when we first realized that toxic masculinity was a thing. I ended up in a breakout room ith Mikayla who told me about living on a farm and the gender expectations. I talked about my own personal experiences playing kickball and doing sports as a kid, and how in gym there were masculinity and gender norms. Another student talked about the different toys that are given to children. Such as giving little girls toy dolls and giving little boys toy cars.

Sam said, “gender roles are things we are socialized into” which is a quote that really spoke to me. We were asked about what toxic masculinity means and figures that we associate it with. I said that not being able to show emotion, cry–unwilling to show emotion is seen as feminizing.

Sam made a good point that it can also be grouped with homosexuality.

A student shared an experience about how the boys are expected to not cry and do more manual labor starting at a younger age on her family farm. The use of the body for manual labor is a sign of masculinity.

Guys trying to impress other guys creates a toxic culture that can get out of hand. Many guys don’t want to get their nails done and don’t want their friends to make fun of them for being romantic/saying I love you to their partners. We all see this on our fyp and how unnormalized it is. Masculinity differs by race–ex. Black v white masculinity. Nationality is also linked to masculinity. We finally discussed how there is a masculinity and mental health interface that travels into relationships with partners and can move through and cause other victims.

I really enjoyed this table talk about masculinity. I find that a lot of times in different male friend groups it’s easy for masculinity to get toxic and have group polarization It was nice to discuss this topic with peers and see what their experiences and opinions on the topic were. I believe that we need to have more discussion like this about other issues in order to shift the different societal norms that can lead to toxic enviroenments.

I was not really sure what to expect from this discussion and was not planning to talk very much and was not sure if I would have an opinion. Once I joined the zoom meeting there was only six of us and I thought oh no I am going to have to talk. But as we got going I realized I did have an opinion and was able to have a good conversation. We talked about our experiences and many of us talked about experiences with our boyfriends or male family members. This was an eye opening experience for me and I actually enjoyed talking about masculinity and got some clarity with some of the issues I had with some of my male family members.

Toxic masculinity is slowly devolving into today’s society with more people getting educated and breaking this kind of trauma. This is something I am familiar with as I am surrounded by men in my life who exhibits traits of it. I also vividly remember seeing examples like these in media. While discussing this topic, it made me remember an episode of Powerpuff Girls where Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup wanted to join a superheroes club, but they were rejected brutally by the all-male club because they were “girls who should be doing what girls do (i.e. cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc.).”

Stepping away from times when I was exposed to toxic masculinity, I sometimes observe the toxic masculinity within my guy friends. They were taught to conceal their feelings and often translate “feminine feelings” like sadness and pain into more “masculine feelings” like anger and fury. In trying to break this habitat by having heartfelt conversations, they were vulnerable and it made me see that toxic masculinity has a strong hold on men and their relationships with themselves and other people.

Finally, what really stunned me was the fact that these ongoing discussions about toxic masculinity is overshadowing the upsides of masculinity itself. One example that was given was protection. A father is seen as the guardians of their family and rescuers.

Masculinity is a concept that I didn’t know much of. Although many books exist on gender equality, and I have read a few of them, masculinity remains a somewhat elusive topic. The sparseness of pertinent discussions might be a result of the concept’s inherent ambiguity, and the lack of discussions itself makes the idea of masculinity even harder to grasp, completing this negative feedback loop. The Table Talk on masculinity opened my eyes on what masculinity means, how it is portrayed, and the impact on our society.

The the term “masculinity” as we know today haven’t existed for too long — it dates back to the 80s. However, masculinity affects our behavior without our awareness. The talk emphasized that masculinity can be “toxic”: mens are expected to not show emotions, domestic labor is divided based on gender roles, and some countries even go as far as building gyms to promote national masculinity. This notion connects masculinity with other topics on gender, such as gender discrimination, as masculinity contrasts sharply with femininity.

On a positive note, masculinity leads to bonding between people and protective relationships. Brotherhoods and frats can be thought of as one way how masculinity promotes kinship between people from different biological families. The topic of masculinity needs more research to be better understood, but recognizing its existence and impact is always a critical and essential first step to take.