Is Love Alive? Is Love a Lie?
A faithful relationship should be deeply rooted in mutual affection, loyalty, and compatibility. The goal of love is to live like a movie – two people meet, find they love each other, and live happily ever after. Our conceptualization of long-lasting relationships is that they are built on pure love. Is it the love of your spouse that keeps them with you, though? Or is it just the fact that they have no better option? This is where game theory comes into play in a monogamy. Analysis of cooperative strategies proves that while a relationship may be built on love, it stays together on the basis of game theory.
Each person in a relationship cannot be viewed as a single entity. Each member of the relationship makes decisions, and those decisions must affect how the other chooses their respective strategy. Game theory heavily relies on cooperative strategies, and each possible outcomes takes into account both member’s decision. If a faithful relationship relies on game theory, then this implies that each partner makes decisions solely for self-interest – they want to achieve their highest possible payoff.
In a simple relationship decision, a partner can decide to have an affair, or not have an affair. If both partners decide to not have an affair, the relationship is stable and long-lasting, hopefully followed by happiness and well-being. If both partners decide to have an affair, they might both gain some short-term happiness. If one partner cheats and the other does not, then the former gains short term happiness, but the latter is unhappy. The effect of game theory on relationships is shown through the repetitions of this “game.” If one time, Person 1 decides to cheat, they initially have gained a better payoff (short-term happiness) and Person 2 has the worst payoff (unhappy). The next time the situation comes up, Player 2 knows that their best response to Player 1’s affair is to also cheat, and the pair are now in a perpetual loop of not trusting each other, and the short-term happiness at the beginning has turned into life-long grief. On the other hand, choosing to stay faithful will guarantee both partners the best chance of a happy payoff after repeated instances of this game. A person may tend to desire short-term happiness in the form of an affair, but the game theory shows that their best choice is to stay faithful.
“A faithful relationship is just a particular form of social cooperation” (Page 6). Not every relationship lasts a long time, and some partners will have an affair, but the reason why relationships work is because of coordinating strategies, and each person picking the outcome that gives them the highest payoff. Love is still a valid concept, but game theory is the underlying theme.
Source: http://www.colyvan.com/papers/mdm.pdf