Last week I attended my first Rose Table Talk.  The topic was stress management.  It was helpful to hear management strategies from GRF Seema and many other fellow Cornellians.   This event was different from any other event I have attended this semester.  There was less structure so I was able get to know some of my fellow rose scholars.  The diverse group made for an even more eye opening discussion.  We represented many different majors and ethic groups. The more we shared stories I found that we all were a part of different clubs and student organizations on and off campus.  Our live were all very different but in some way shape or form all of us kept busy.  It’s good we were  learning about stress management!

I went to the table talk with GRF Seema. This table talk was interesting in the fact that Seema only voiced facts about stress and let us discuss our own opinions based on those facts. We learnt that there is an optimal point for stress and after that point your quality of work starts to rapidly declined. This was interesting to me given that I find that I am my best productive self when I am stressed beyond belief. This left me wondering if the optimal point is different for different for different people. We also discussed how to deal with stress and what helps many people. According to Seema reaching out to people helps us with stress and is also a bi product of stress. This is because when we need help with something we reach out to more people to get help on a problem set for example. In addition, we talked about unhealthy ways to deal with stress and all shared our stress stories. I enjoyed this table talk because it was genuinely helpful and casual enough that everyone was comfortable to talk.

Last week, I went to the Table Talk where different Rose Scholars as well as the GRF talked about their different experiences with stress. On campus, there a lot of times where people are stressed out due to academic work, things back home, as well as the uncertainty of the future and it can really affect people. I feel as Cornell students we are constantly between peak performance and overworking ourselves due to our stress levels. This is why in my opinion all-nighters are a trend, as a student some of us have jobs or other extracurriculars that take up the already limited times in our day due to going to lectures. So people, decide to sacrifice sleep to obtain the time that they are not able to get. I feel short term there is nothing wrong with this besides fatigue or exhaustion.

However, long term, I think about how this much stress that is usually consistent in a four year, and for some even eight year academic setting can really affect us as this new generation coming into the real world. Sure as Cornellians’, this university prepares us for the real world in terms of knowledge but what about other things that matter such as people skills. I understand that in some majors such as STEM or engineering to name a few, we treat each other as competitors to beat the curve on exams. But in the real world most positions or career paths encourage collaboration and leadership to make sure goals are met. So, as college students I encourage us to make sure that we are taking care of ourselves and not make college a miserable and stressful experience for four years. Health wise, in the future it may affect us more than we would have ever known. Yes grades are important but let me ask you the reader a question.

Ten years from now will your GPA really matter? Another follow up question. Ten years from now will stressing and depriving yourself of sleep be worth it?

Last Monday, I attended the Table Talk on stress. With such a relatable and ubiquitous topic for Cornell students, it was easy for us to begin the discussion and to share all sorts of anecdotes and experiences. GRF Seema started us off by sharing some of her stresses that come along with being a PhD student, and she encouraged us to share anything that might be on our minds. This Table Talk was probably the most casual I had ever been to; it felt more like a group of people commiserating and sharing advice than a guided discussion. The people who attended had a variety of different majors, so it was interesting for me to see what people outside of my classes found stressful.

We also discussed the benefits of stress; namely, how a certain optimal level of stress is necessary for maximizing your productivity. It seemed as though people had different optimal levels; personally, I find that I am more productive when I am less stressed, but some people shared that they needed a significant amount of stress in order to motivate themselves. It was interesting to see how such a simple and common feeling can manifest itself in so many different ways.

On Tuesday I attended a table talk about stress during dinner at Rose house dining (delicious, always.) The word “stress” is thrown around on a daily basis here at Cornell, so I feel that the strength of the word has been significantly watered down. In my opinion, stress should not be a normal condition for anyone, and I make a conscious effort to not let it sneak itself into my consciousness every day.

The talk was refreshing because we didn’t focus much on actual stress, but rather ways we individually combat it. Some people mentioned they enjoy going for walks and some said they just need to turn the TV on for a distraction. It was interesting to see that across a span of majors ranging from plant biology to economics, we all share the same sentiments about academics, competition, and prelims. Another topic that was brought up in relation to stress was the competitive atmosphere of pretty much anything at Cornell. Even joining a club requires resume perfecting, interviewing, and evaluations. Because of this, we find that even fun outlets like clubs can create a unique form of stress. I think as an institution we can do better in creating environments that don’t require prerequisites or previous experience to get involved. If the goal is to have fun, everyone should be welcome!

My suite mates had ushered me to come to the table talk about stress and at first I did not want to go but I am happy I did. Talking to others about stress is actually stress-relieving – it is nice to know you’re not the only one feeling a certain way about said events. There were multiple things I took away from the table talk. For one, it is great to be self-aware of the times you are most productive so you can utilize said times to be most efficient in working. Truthfully, I already did this without knowing. There are certain times in the day I feel most productive and I know I learned these habits from when I was in cyber school (in high school).

Second, I learned that most likely 60% of my stress is due to the fact that I look at what other people are doing and criticize myself for not doing that – which is ridiculous! I am an Entomology major – there are about 35 undergrad Entomology students, yet I find myself thinking about what business students or communication students are doing

Third, joining a club just to say you are in that club or to put it on a resume is not how clubs should be viewed. I am in the undergraduate entomology club and play an active role, I enjoy being in the club and I think this is what clubs are about. The amount of clubs you are in should not be a competition. Cornell students are so stressed because even “fun” things are seen as competitive (sometimes!).

This week’s table talk on stress was really a broad discussion ranging from causes of stress to coping mechanisms to physiological responses caused by stress. One part of the discussion that I thought was really interesting was how higher household expectations on women especially in developing countries combined with lowered resource availability leads to higher stress levels. It’s interesting to think of stress beyond the usual academic “Oh, I’m so stressed because I have a prelim tomorrow” kind of stress.

It was also fun to hear how everyone copes with stress. We talked about some studies that have found interacting with and reaching out to people reduces stress, but almost everyone at the table talk thought that reaching out to people when stressed only led to more stress because of concerns about judging. People talked about a lot of different stress relieving methods, such as going for walks, catching insects, and watching TV. We also talked about the benefits of planning out events and writing out lists of what we plan to get done on a given day or in a given week. It was interesting how different people had different methods of working through multiple projects. Some people liked to just have one goal for the day, like finish a paper and space the projects out over several days. Others liked to work for a set little amount on many different projects. I definitely will be trying these different ways of dealing with stress in the future.

I really liked this week’s table talk on managing stress. I think discussions about mental health really help to erase the stigma surrounding it and I would love for there to be more talks like this.

After two years in university, I feel like I am finally in a place of (unstable) equilibrium when it comes to stress and mental health. I say unstable because a push in either direction will probably send me reeling for a bit until I can find my way back. From my perspective, much of mental health is walking the fine line between two extremes. For example, a small amount of stress can be motivational wheres too much is overwhelming, too little socialising leads to withdrawal and isolation wheres too much may lead to a neglect of self-care, etc. The right balance for each person is subjective. For example, some people do their homework at the last minute because the pressure to finish on time motivates them so that stress can be considered healthy. For me, the presence of a looming deadline leaves me unable to think clearly so stress from that would be overwhelming. It takes time and patience to find the right balance for each person and it also explains why tips for stress management are effective for some people but not for others.

For me, when I am stressed I tend to internalise my problems so as to not burden other people. This is probably not healthy, but I like to seek other outlets, like writing. I also like running because it feels liberating as I’m literally running away from responsibilities (at least for a short while). Lastly, I think it’s important to incorporate fun into every day so I try to read a bit of a book or a poem, or draw, or watch a video online before sleeping. There are still some days where I am so stressed that I want to lie in bed all day and cry, but I find that this system of balance and fun has really helped me get through the everyday stresses of life.