The ingredients for a happy and successful life are often elusive, and may leave us struggling and perhaps unhappy and unfulfilled in our quest. Scientists have been studying this subject since the 1930s. The Harvard Study on Adult Development is one of the longest-running studies on physical and mental well-being in adults.
Harvard University researchers invited 19-year-old Harvard sophomores, as well as teenagers from the poorest neighborhoods of Boston, to participate. The research team has conducted interviews, performed medical tests, and followed their subjects every two years for more than 75 years.
The results on happiness have been surprising. Dr. Robert Waldinger, who is now the fourth leader of the study, reports three main findings:
- Social connections are really good for us.
- It is the quality (not quantity) of these relationships that matter most.
- Good relationships protect our bodies and our minds.
Waldinger found that young people tended to, and continue to, think that fame, fortune, and hard work will bring them happiness. In fact, year after year, the research points to our social connections as the most important ingredient for well-being. The men in the study (note, women were not part of the study due to Harvard being an all-male school at the time) who were most successful in their careers were those who made relationships with family, friends, and community a priority. This was true among both groups, the Harvard students and those growing up in an inner-city environment.
This study has, and continues to, shed new light on the importance of taking care of one’s relationships with others, no matter who you are and where you come from. Relationships buffer us from stress and life’s ups and downs.
So, what are some qualities that make for a good relationship? Waldinger notes that the ability to feel like your true self in a relationship is vital. Authenticity and respect are paramount. However, it doesn’t mean you always have to agree with that person. What is important is that you feel like you can be yourself and are fundamentally respected.
Close connections act like stress relievers, and small steps make a difference. Send a friend a text or email. Call a family member. Spending time with others makes us happier on a day-to-day basis and can buffer mood dips from physical or mental stressors. If you feel that connections are difficult for you, think about the interests you have and find ways to do those things alongside others. When we are engaged in activities that we care about with others who also care about them, there is common ground. It becomes natural to start a dialogue, and it opens up the possibility to make deeper connections.
For more information on the study, and for tips on happiness, please check out
Dr. Waldinger’s book, The Good Life: Lessons from the world’s longest scientific study of happiness.
All Blogs are written by Professionals in the fields of Nutrition, Human Development and Diabetes.