Holidays and special occasions can be full of joy and excitement, but also times of emotional pain, especially if you are grieving the loss of a loved one. While accepting loss may become easier over time, loss is something we carry with us forever. There is pressure to be joyful at celebrations, so managing grief at these times can be even more challenging. Grief is a complicated process and unique to each one of us. Here are tips to help alleviate some of the pressure to be festive:
Do what feels right
While attending celebratory events and gatherings sometimes feels right, allowing yourself the ability to opt out if it feels like excessive pressure is okay too. It’s important to check in with yourself and balance your own readiness to be part of activities that may bring up strong emotions.
Tune in
In addition to figuring out if attending festive gatherings feels right, it’s also important to tune into any positive or negative emotions brought up during this time. It may be tempting to numb difficult emotions in drugs and alcohol, but it’s never a good strategy. On the other hand, giving yourself permission to enjoy happy moments and not feeling guilty about that is okay too. Allowing yourself to experience a wide range of emotions, accepting the positive, and working through the negative, will help ease stress.
Plan ahead
Planning in advance for family events where the absence of loved ones will be felt can help ease difficult emotions. For example, if Grandpa always called on Memorial Day, think ahead about who will take on his role now. This can make the transition easier because the moment of grief will not sneak up on you.
Make new memories
Your loved one would want you to enjoy special events and making new memories will not replace old ones. Acknowledge those feelings of guilt and sadness, but look to move past them, finding some healing and comfort in new traditions and memories.
Honor old traditions
Doing things that the person who you are grieving enjoyed can be comforting and may honor and celebrate their memory.
Make a list
Write down a list of coping skills to fall back on when you feel difficult emotions. Things like meditation, mindfulness, focusing on breathing, taking a walk, journaling, and listening to music are all positive coping skills that can support you during difficult times.
Special events can be wonderful, but can elicit painful memories too. Take one feeling at a time, one holiday gathering at a time, and know that there is no one right or wrong way to feel. It’s a personal and oftentimes complicated journey.
All Blogs are written by Professionals in the fields of Nutrition, Human Development and Diabetes.