After watching this film, I was kind of shocked that my parents never mentioned this film to me. This was the film that supposedly made headlines across India and the start of the gay rights movement there. I think this is simply a misconception. My parents were born and raised in south India and there, the gay rights movement is nonexistent. Any hint of homosexuality is frowned upon by society. I think the reason that’s true is because society in India revolves around family and community. Here, the individual is celebrated and people strive to differentiate themselves among the herd. There, family is given more importance. Marriage is between families rather than individuals for instance, hence the existence of the caste system and dowry. Since homosexuality is a very individual-based characteristic, the idea is simply nonexistent in India.
My best friend is gay. When he first started coming over my house, my mom was open to him, but I could definitely sense a sort of judgement coming from my dad. Not about his homosexuality, but rather, that I am hanging out with a boy. In doing so, he completely disregarded the existence of my friend’s sexuality. I am not sure if this can ever change within an individual. It seems to be an understanding that occurs as a movement through generations rather than individuals. Of course, that is not to say that an individual cannot change his/her perception, but I think it’s extremely difficult.
I remember once, my mom asked me if gay people have genes that make them gay. It’s really surprising how there is such a lack of awareness regarding different sexualities in India.
I remember once, in India, my family was on the train and a group of transgender beggars came over and asked for money and immediately, my grandpa handed her some cash. In the area where I am from, transgender people are shunned from their families at young ages so they clan together and beg for a living. People hand them cash without thinking twice because there is a belief that transgender people are cursed and they can easily curse you too.
The cultural perceptions of homosexuality in India are crazy and it’s amazing how even my parents don’t understand it fully even though my best friend is gay. I guess with time, things will change.
As someone who is neither Indian nor has ever been to India, I think you add a great perspective of what it may be like in other countries for gay people. However, I do wonder what you mean when you say that being gay is very individualistic; how is it more so than heterosexuality? Is it because cisgendered gay people cannot biologically have children with their partners? I think this needs more expansion and thought because it comes across as you stating that gay people who embrace their sexuality are inherently self-invested and not mindful of others.
I don’t think the aim of the author was to say that gays are self invested. Instead, I feel they are attempting to provide reasons why they think it is not accepted in Indian society. The first hypothesis is that since Indian society is so family oriented, homosexuals may be perceived to not part of this culture as they can’t physically have children with their partners (continuing the blood ties), which could be part of the reason for marriages between families.
Thank you for providing this insightful perspective on homosexuality in India. I come from a conservative Hispanic background where the heterosexual viewpoint is extremely dominant. Being gay or transgender is something that is frowned upon by many elders in my family and I feel that it is our responsibility as young educated members of society to put an end to those beliefs so that our children and future generations are able to live freely and feel accepted no matter what. It’s such a shame that these stereotypes exist but I do feel we have the power to break the cycle.