Parents get so much advice, some of it good, and some of it not so good. When seeking advice, it is always best to get it from a reliable source. Information that is research, evidence or science based will always be the better choice. There is much information about child development and brain development that past generations did not have. Following are some commonly held beliefs passed down from generation to generation, and what the research says about those beliefs.
- Holding babies too much or picking them up whenever they cry will spoil them.
Many new parents receive this well-meaning advice. However, research on brain development tells us that infants thrive with responsive caregiving. What this means is that when we respond to babies’ cries and do our best to comfort them, they not only cry less, but also develop a sense of well-being, safety, and trust. Consistent and nurturing care does not spoil babies. It helps them develop a secure attachment which leads to good social-emotional development and resilience as they grow.
- Giving babies cereal in their bottles will get them to sleep through the night.
Babies’ sleep cycles are shorter than those of adults, so they tend to wake more frequently. Young infants’ stomachs are small, and they are not physically able to go all night without nourishment. Most babies will begin to sleep for longer stretches of time between 3 and 6 months of age. This will happen whether or not cereal has been introduced. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends waiting until 6 months of age to introduce solid food to an infant. After 6 months of age, night feeding should no longer be necessary; however, babies may still wake up from habit.
- Babies need special toys for their brain development.
Clever marketing leads parents to believe that certain toys or technology are needed for their baby’s brain development. The research tells us that what babies need most for brain development are secure relationships and real-life experiences. This means that time spent with caring adults who talk, read, and sing to them, hold them, and play with them is important. It is also important for children to be able to safely explore their environment and experience new things. Play is also important. Toys that encourage creative and active play such as blocks, empty cardboard boxes, dolls, and balls are good choices. Toys with lots of sounds, lights, or screens tend to do the playing for children and lead to passive learning and should be avoided. Reading books together is a wonderful activity that fosters a nurturing relationship and also helps a baby’s language development. Devices with screens are not beneficial to young children. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screens until 18 months of age, and at this time screens should only be used for video chatting. Wait until after 2 years of age to introduce screens and limit use to 1 hour per day.
- Children need punishment to learn how to behave.
There is a difference between discipline and punishment. Discipline is guiding and teaching children about appropriate behavior so that one day they will develop self-control and choose to behave even if their parent is not with them. Punishment, on the other hand, is using unpleasant or painful means to control a child’s behavior. While this may put a stop to the behavior in that moment, it does not teach a child to behave when a parent is not present. Punishment may teach a child to be sneaky and to hide misbehavior out of fear of being caught. Research shows that spanking has negative consequences for children. It can cause altered brain function, more aggressive behavior, and increased risk for mental health issues such as anxiety and depression and less self-regulation.
- Parents should just know what to do, and parent education is just for parents with big problems.
Parenting is an important job. At times it is rewarding, and at other times it is challenging. Babies do not come with instruction manuals, and each child, situation and stage of development may require different parenting knowledge, skills, and tools. It is a rare parent who always knows the “right” thing to do. All parents can benefit from parenting education which provides information about child development and helps build parenting skills. Research shows that parent education can increase positive parenting practices, increase enjoyment and confidence in the parenting role, improve parents’ mental health, and reduce family stress and the risk for child abuse. In addition, it may improve the emotional health, academic performance and behavior of the child and reduce risk taking behaviors.
All Blogs are written by Professionals in the fields of Nutrition, Human Development and Diabetes.