Today’s parents are struggling. Parenting, while filled with changing responsibilities and challenges, can be incredibly isolating. Social media makes it look like most people have it all together – cheerful family photos, adventure-filled vacations, barbeques with friends, but the reality is much different. American adults today report having fewer friends than ever before. With more hours spent at work, a more intensive focus on parenting, and a heavy reliance on screens, friendships are falling to the wayside. Older adults today are more likely to have more friends and long-lasting friendships than younger adults, with about half of adults over the age of 65 reporting having five or more close friends, compared to 34% of adults between the ages of 30-49.
Despite the drop in friendships, the desire for them has not decreased. Most adults want friendships, crave connection, and benefit from it. Having friends combats loneliness, improves one’s mental and physical health, and leads to greater life satisfaction. Many adults wish to have those friends who can be called for spontaneous get togethers, close neighbors who will bring food after you have a baby or when you’re sick, and other adults who have kids of similar ages—providing a village that will grow as the children do.
For new parents and busy adults, finding and maintaining friends takes effort, but small steps can make a difference. Here are some ways to get started:
1.) Explore your community. As a new parent, it can feel intimidating to leave the house, but going to library classes, community events, and play places are a way to meet other parents who are in the same boat.
2.) Join local parent friendship groups. Many are being formed online. There is an increasing number of local parenting groups on social media that organize events and help facilitate friendships. Social media posts in groups show that many adults struggle with appearing vulnerable, but are more likely to attend a get together if they know that others are looking for the same—friendship and connection.
3.) Look back at what you enjoyed as a child. Art, music, sports, reading? Consider joining a community theatre, a book club, or an intramural sports league to meet other adults with similar interests. Not everything has to revolve around children. Many parents feel like they lose parts of themselves after having children, and tapping into prior interests and hobbies is a way to fill that void.
4.) Reach out to old friendships. You may feel apprehensive reaching out to friends after not speaking for a while, but most people say that they would welcome an old friend reaching out. Throughout the past few years, following the COVID-19 pandemic, many people lost touch. Welcoming back and reconnecting with friends with whom you share a history can feel comforting.
5.) Stay consistent and reach out. So much of building connection and friendship is maintenance. Invite new friends to events, follow-up, ask questions. Most people have trouble making the first move but are grateful to those who do.
All Blogs are written by Professionals in the fields of Nutrition, Human Development and Diabetes.