Growing up in a digital age has made social media an inevitable part of life for many parents and children. Recent research discusses the difference between being a mentor and being a monitor and how we can balance the positives and negatives of both roles.
As a parent, being a mentor is offering support and guidance. Sharing our own views and experiences and offering advice can help our children build skills to handle challenges on their own. When navigating the complexities of social media, a parent mentor should foster the development of open communication where a child can feel comfortable sharing what they are seeing on social media and how it makes them feel (both positive and negative). As mentors, parents should encourage critical thinking and teach children there is a difference between information and misinformation. Furthermore, mentoring also involves modeling positive behaviors. If you show your child that you use social media responsibly, chances are they will follow.
On the other hand, parents as monitors focus on safety and oversight of their children’s behavior. When monitoring, it is important to consider establishing boundaries and setting guidelines, so children are clear about expectations. Discussing time limits, allowable content, and the why behind your decision making are also critical. Technology is changing at a rapid pace, so keeping up to date with current apps and trends will help you to better guide your children more effectively and identify possible risks.
The balance between monitor and mentor may be tricky but embracing both roles and encouraging an ongoing dialogue with your child can have positive impacts. Foster a relationship where communication is welcomed. Considering the age and developmental phase of a child is important in this process. Adopting a policy of strict policing will likely backfire as kids often know how to “outsmart” parents. Instead, teach your children to understand the risks and responsibilities that come with social media, and strive for a balance of oversight and trust. Encourage your children to take ownership of their actions and develop critical thinking skills to guide them, both in their online and offline decision making. Fostering support and open communication will help you develop the right balance in your relationship with your children and social media.
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