Back to School Balancing Act

For pre-teens, especially those entering middle school, the first weeks of September can be demanding. Back to school brings a fresh start for academic success — a chance for your child to make significant headway towards good grades. It also means reconnecting with friends they haven’t seen for two months and navigating the squalls of peer acceptance. How can parents help their pre-teens balance school work and peer awareness?

Recognize the importance of peers. Friendships aren’t frivolous, even if you think the hanging out, texting, Instagraming, and other social connections are a waste of time. Peers are a powerful influence and an important source of social support as your pre-teen copes with the changes and stresses of adolescence.

Emphasize the importance of education. Clarify your expectations about school attendance, behavior, effort, grades, and extra-curricular activities from the start. Let your child know that you value learning by your words and your example.

Establish positive routines right away. Some kids fall behind in September because they still function on a summer schedule, or develop poor time management habits when the workload is light. School success depends on three routines: waking up (including a nutritious breakfast); homework and studying; and bedtime (that provides 8-9 hours of restful sleep each night). Even when your child says he has no homework, insist that he spend some time studying or reading.

Put out the welcome mat. Make your home a place where your child’s friends feel welcome. When you see and interact with your child’s friends on a regular basis, you can exert a positive influence on them. You may also spot and prevent potential trouble. Who knows? You may even be able to organize study groups among your child’s friends right in your own home.

Set limits on socializing during the school week.

Making and keeping friends is hard work, but so is school success, which requires that students devote sufficient out-of-school time to homework, research, and studying. Enforce time limits on play, TV, visits, phone calls, social media, and other activities that can interfere with schoolwork.

Don’t fight about friends or school. Be consistent about your expectations, but avoid major showdowns unless your child’s behavior becomes unsafe (e.g., smoking with friends or cutting school). Ultimately, succeeding in school and managing friendships are your child’s responsibility.

All Blogs are written by Professionals in the fields of Nutrition, Human Development and Diabetes.