By Cara Weiner Sultan, MSW
Technology has revolutionized the experience of childhood these days. Screen time is a hotly debated topic, but can screens be used to promote social interactions when face to face interactions are not possible? What about using technology to enhance and broaden your child’s socialization skills? Nothing should ever replace real social interactions, but this new way to use screen time might be something that becomes increasingly relevant in years to come.
Here are some things to consider about playdates in a digital world:
The playdate should be a close approximation to what would occur in a person to person interaction, just moved to an online platform such as FaceTime, Google meets, Zoom or another application where children can see each other on a screen. Playing video games in a virtual world would not have the same social benefit as a back and forth conversation. Texting or chatting by typing would also not be ideal. The whole idea is using screens to foster social connection and not create a passive experience.
Setting ground rules, monitoring time spent in the playdate, and providing structure and ideas on how to use the time might be useful. Some ideas include bingo, charades, cooking demonstrations, chess/checkers, dance parties, arts and crafts, scavenger hunts, and show and tell. If children are unable to play independently, parents may also participate and supervise the playdate with their child. Caregiver participation may provide additional social benefits through modeling connection during the interaction, not staring blankly at a screen.
What might be some of the possible benefits of these experiences?
Emotional/physical safety. Oftentimes kids may feel emotionally and physically safer in their home environment versus having to go to another child’s home. A child may also feel less overwhelmed and enjoy having control over their physical space and personal belongings. Kids with difficulty separating from caregivers may also benefit from the safety net offered by this experience.
Convenience. Parents face a deluge of work/family responsibilities. This requires less planning and can be done without leaving the house.
Responsible internet use. Teaching children to use the internet in a productive and structured way can be a useful skill for their future. This generation of youth will spend an inordinate amount of time online. Teaching them that it can be done safely and within limits provides a good foundation.
Enhance connections. During times of extended absences, virtual get-togethers can keep relationships sustained between children, allowing for a smoother transition when they return to face to face interaction. Virtual playdates create the opportunity for sharing and connecting when real life interaction may not be possible.
Digital playdates should never replace real face to face interactions between children, but may be used as a supplement in certain situations, such as if friends are sick, move away, or there is a need for extended social distancing. Screen time should never take the place of other activities such as family time, outdoor time, exercise, and being unplugged. However, if used with appropriate guidance and in moderation, the digital world may offer children an additional outlet for play.
Cara Weiner Sultan is a Parent Educator with Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County’s Family Health and Wellness Program. She can be reached at caw10@cornell.edu