By Dinah Torres Castro
In many families, chores are expected to be done, and traditionally children and adults share in the responsibility. Chores help young children learn about responsibilities and how to become more self-reliant. Parents benefit from the help their children provide. It is important that parents recognize and show their appreciation for the contribution children make to the family—this helps kids feel lovable and capable.
Get the whole family on board by following these simple rules:
–Don’t insist on perfection—No one is perfect and it’s better to have a relaxed approach to how well kids do their chores. Otherwise, you might have a struggle on your hands. Don’t jump in and do it for them as that will just undermine the whole point!
–Don’t delay—You might think your child is too young, but kids can do a lot of chores at an early age, and they learn by doing.
–Don’t be stingy with praise—Don’t wait until the chore is done. Praise and encourage your child while the chore is in progress. You want to build positive momentum, especially with young kids.
–Don’t be inconsistent—Make sure your child knows that he must follow through, or he might start putting off chores, hoping that someone else will do them.
Follow these guidelines when assigning chores:
- Give children chores that are age-appropriate. Even 2-3 year olds can pitch in by putting toys away, helping to fill the pet’s food dish, and putting dirty clothes in the hamper. At 5 to 6 years old they can help empty wastebaskets, clear the table, and water flowers. Most 6 to 7 year olds can sort laundry, help make lunches, and keep their rooms tidy.
- Give children responsibilities that are important. As they get older, their responsibilities should increase. By the time they are teens, they should be contributing more to the household. Examples include meal preparation, laundry, mowing the lawn, and washing the car.
- Give children time to learn. It’s a fact that the first time a 6 year old tries to make her bed, it will not be perfect—but she will learn.
- Give children a choice of chores. They will stick to their task and take pride in their work when they are given a choice.
- Make chores fun. Make a game out of sorting socks in laundry, or sing songs as you pick up toys. Before you know it, the task is done!
Avoid rewarding kids for doing chores. Every family member should share the work and not expect to be paid. Chores should be the routine responsibilities all family members do to keep the family functioning smoothly. It is especially important not to tie allowances to chores for young children because they may be less motivated by money and, therefore, avoid chores. However, you can make an exception for older kids who already know how to be responsible, and money can become a motivator for unusual or occasional jobs that are not part of the weekly routine.
For more information:
Should You Give Your Child an Allowance?:
http://www.unce.unr.edu/publications/files/cy/2000/fs0045.pdf
Children and Money: Allowances and Alternatives:
Dinah Castro is a Bilingual Family Well-Being Educator with Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County’s Family Health and Wellness Program. She can be reached at 631-727-7850 ext. 351 or at dc258@cornell.edu.
Good post! The guidelines mentioned are quite true, chores should be age appropriate,increases responsibilities, learning, choice of chores and fun. All these combine to create their interest, asking for more chores