By Dinah Torres Castro
Parents of young children often have questions about discipline. Discipline means to teach or guide however, it is often associated with punishment. The goal of discipline is to teach children how to behave appropriately with family and friends, at home, in school and out in the community.
Parenting an infant or toddler is an exciting time of new discoveries as well as challenges. Here are some positive discipline strategies to help your child learn she can trust you and respect your authority:
- Respond to your child’s needs
- Baby-proof your home
- Redirect their attention
- Keep to their scheduled routines
First, you cannot spoil an infant by picking them up too often. Babies, during the first year of life, are learning to bond with and trust their parents. When an infant cries he is trying to tell parents that something is wrong. They may be tired, hungry or thirsty; he may need a diaper change or simply want a hug. When parents respond to the child’s needs, the infant learns that he can trust them to take care of him. So instead of spoiling the infant, both you and the baby learn a routine that meets the family’s needs. This helps to establish structure and teaches the child to learn what to expect, such as when to go to bed—an important lesson which will carry over as he or she gets older.
A curious crawling baby can quickly get into situations that are not safe. Anything can attract their attention, like the bowl of cat food or grandma’s antique vase on the coffee table. Rather than constantly being on guard and telling the infant, “No!” parents can baby-proof the house and move such objects out of reach. Some people say they taught their child not to touch by slapping his hands and saying, “No!” We already know that spanking (slapping) is not an effective form of discipline. Children are naturally curious and by providing them with items they can freely explore, we let them learn about their environment in a safe manner.
Young children have short attention spans. If the baby is reaching for something that she shouldn’t have, say “no” and redirect her towards a toy or something that she can play with. Sometimes a persistent child will need to be redirected several times from the same object, but be patient and continue to say, “No” and redirect.
Keeping regular routines is also an effective discipline strategy. Young children tell time by routine not the clock. Avoid taking the toddler to the grocery store when he or she is tired or hungry. Save these trips for times when the child is well rested, fed and feeling well because the child isn’t trying to misbehave he just hasn’t learned the self-control yet.
These early years can be physically exhausting for parents. Remember that the child is relying on you for love, guidance and care. Parents who experience frustration with an infant or toddler are wise to “count to ten” to gain self-control before picking up a child to discipline him or her. Under no circumstances should you shake a child!
Positive discipline can help a child learn how to monitor their own behavior as they grow. With patience and consistency (essential for these strategies to be effective) your love and careful guidance are bound to achieve positive results.
Discipline for Very Young Children: A Look at Discipline
Appropriate Limits for Young Children
Dinah Castro is a Bilingual Family Well-Being Educator with Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County’s Family Health and Wellness Program. She can be reached at 631-727-7850 ext. 351 or at dc258@cornell.edu.