Author Archives: Emony Robertson

Do they know that we’re ALL God’s Children?

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From the audience division, to the content of the play, and the post-play discussion, I found it intriguing how much surrounding race relations and family politics has changed, but has also remained the same. In the play, there was so much tension around their interracial relationship, but mainly because the Black man was doing everything in his power to please his white wife. As the play went on we were able to see that his wife would do everything in her power to sabotage her husband’s potential career as an attorney. I found this to be interesting because in modern day terms, outside of dating, Blacks still work hard to prove that in spite of tensions, they can still accomplish what they put their mind to do. At the same time, this can come at the cost of their well-being and stability. Thinking about being a Black women, I find that even when I’m working hard and trying not to fit stereotypes of Blacks in America, I can still feel that there are forces/individuals , who do not believe that I should succeed, and will do anything in their power to prevent that prosperity. All in all, this play helped me to further question how race relations affect my personal decisions and aspirations, and ways that I can consciously work to ameliorate those challenges.

How Can We Live With Ourselves?

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Once Aferim! ended I felt every horrid emotion possible. I was left in despair and questioned the people of the world. The film helped me to remember the hatred and disgust that has pervaded society for millennia. What infuriated me the most was the constant disrespect of the dark-skinned people, and those considered slaves, in addition to the overwhelming amounts of sexism. With this in mind, I needed time to reflect and gather my thoughts, and still it was difficult to place my thoughts into words. With this in mind, I had to reference a movie review from the New York Times.

A. O. Scott wrote a joyous review about the movie and how it was overlooked by many in foreign language and American film festivals; however, Scott still managed to address the grit and hatred which the characters acted upon from scene to scene. What gave me closure about the movie, the time which it was based, the progression of society’s moral developments, and what Radu Jude was aiming for artistically was the ending quote of Scott’s review.

 “As a species, we’re pretty awful, but we can also be a lot of fun, and even sometimes decent, compassionate and wise. How can we live with ourselves? The answer, this brilliant movie suggests, is that we can’t but somehow we do.”

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At the end of the film I thought of every bad thing Constandin, lordache Cindescu, and the likes, had conflicted upon the poor people, and those lower in the social hierarchy. I thought about how messed people were in 1835 and how their mindsets set up horrible precedence for decades and millennia. However, at the end of the review, I thought about all of the people in this world, and how we all have something about us that should be changed. There is always something about us that inflicts pain upon another. There is always something about our wrongs that put us at the mercy of one another, as well as history.

During the film, Constandin asked his son – Ionita – how he thought they would be remembered in history, and questioned whether they would be remembered at all. I found this scene to be super powerful because his dwellings on this question started to translate his actions towards others that seemed to get better, of course with a foundation of decent judgment. However, Scott’s quote helped me to realize that the characters of the film, and humans of society, can live with themselves because they do not think to consider how their actions will affect the world to come, as well as its inhabitants. Correction – We, including myself, do not think about how our living sets the precedent for other lives. If we did, perhaps we’d be a better society, filled with better people.

So, how can you work to leave a better self for generations to come?

Start Over ?!?!

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We were given a block of clay to mold into what we could envision. I envisioned a piece of art that had the form of a circular prism, but the presence of an ancient pyramid; etched into the clay would be symbols that were important to me, even if they were superficial. As a embarked upon my two hour clay making session, my reality took control.

Thinking that I was closely following the directions, my circular prism was supposed to take form in an instant, so that I could further mark my piece with etchings. Instead, The clay was starting to thin and I could get it to go into a circular. Still not frustrated because I understand that the process of art has a mind of its own, I continued. Slowly, but surely, I began to form a circular base that was separated from the rest of the clay due to great indentation. It wasn’t what I originally pictured, but it was coming along. A few minutes later, I became impatient and frustrated with my lack of talent, which led me to seek help. In seeking help, the realization that this piece wasn’t getting better hit me hard. So I did something I normally would not do…. start over.

With starting over came a new, simple vision, one that my hands could actually make happen. I wanted to make a bowl. The assistance of the workshop leaders was very useful in this structure, and it made me feel better about the fruition of my final product. Here was the final result:

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My experience with the clay workshop made me think about my personal life. So often I go into situations with innocent intentions and big ideas, and life’s experiences will take me elsewhere. Sometimes those situations require me to start over – not life – but the particular processes. Though this may seem unfortunate to me most of the time, the clay workshop experience and my personal reflection, has helped me to realize that I am learning and growing in ways that I cannot imagine; nonetheless, simple ways. I’m learning not to be afraid of starting over when things don’t go as I’ve pictured, or even just new phases. Next year this time, I will be prepared to start over in a new academic setting, with different faculty members and professors, and new social circles, with new goals. Starting Over, I’m learning, does not always mean a setback. Sometimes it means switching up your direction.

We Should Talk…

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Growing up I remember being given guidelines to make sure that if I had ever been touched inappropriately that my mother was aware. Never had we discussed phrases like ‘rape’ or ‘sexual assault’ or ‘sexual harassment’. We only discussed ways to not encounter these things.

As a college junior, I realize how much I didn’t know then and that I still do not know now. So badly I want to be able to engage in conversations that spread awareness about sexual assault and rape culture, but yet again, society has politicized an important issue, making it difficult to engage in open and honest conversation.

Hearing Kate speak yesterday evening was another step forward in being open. I understand that this level of engagement on campus, let alone the world, will not happen overnight, but that having safe spaces like the one created by the Rose Scholars Program, is a step in the right direction. No man or woman, boy or girl, should have any question or concern, connected to rape culture and/or sexual assault, unanswered.

With that in mind, family and friends, we need to talk…

Roles in Activism…

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Growing up, I had a contradictory view on what activism meant. One the one hand, activism was the source of my freedom as an African American. On the other hand, activism was something not in line with the respectability politics I had been taught. For many years, I have carried respectability politics with me. Part of the reason has to do with being raised by a generation of African Americans, who grew up during the process of integration. They were taught to not draw too much attention to themselves, to dress and act “properly,” and to not put themselves in positions that would target them. Never in a million years would I ask to be raised differently.

I have no intentions of changing the respectability politics with which I operate. Instead, I do two things: 1) I make sure that my respectability politics do not hinder me addressing problematic statements and acts that are direct threats to my well being, and 2) I attend events like the Students in Activism workshop which helps me to gain perspective and support/change my personal positions on subject matter.

For instance, the workshop was focused on immigration. I consider immigration to be one of those topics – the touchy ones. The topics that you do not address because you do not have all of the facts. The topics that you do not address because your bias may prevent you from being fair, because you do not have experience with the subject matter. However, being in the workshop helped to further a perspective that I seldom hear: The prospective of the undocumented student. Some of my thoughts were debunked, while others were affirmed. Ultimately I enjoyed attending the workshop and engaging with students who had experiences that no one in my living families have ever experienced.

However, the workshop reminded me of a few key things that I have come to terms with in college. Activism has many faces. It can show its face in protests or addressing problematic statements in class discussion. Activism is not tied to just the actions made by movement leaders, but also the undocumented students who break barriers. All in all, this workshop helped to highlight the importance of deciding which role one would like to play, and to understand the short- and long- effects.

Look in the Mirror…

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“You see that guy staring back at you? That’s your toughest opponent. I believe that’s true in the ring and I think that’s true in life.” – Rocky Balboa in Creed

For most of my life, I took quotes like this to heart. They were apart of the grit I believed to be necessary for my success. So much of my attention was on being the best that I could that I never thought to think of the flip side. Yes, the quote is originally intentioned for one to understand that once they move every internal doubt, they can conquer anything! However, the flip side is that one could slip into the longest fight of her life, by fighting solely with herself. No one tells you that drive like this can lead you off the rails.

Why not? Well, I suppose it’s because there are only a small percentage of individuals who become their toughest opponents in a detrimental way. Or maybe it’s because no one talks about the stories that do not succeed.

Regardless, Creed was an amazing film. It truly captured this quote with the ending. He didn’t win the battle against his opponent, but he definitely began to win the battle within himself. The battle that was tied to his insecurities, fear of being in his father’s shadow, as well as taking the risk to step out on a limb and pursue his dream.

This movie reminded me that most people will be their toughest opponents, through the perspective of Adonis Creed. However, this movie also reminded me that I do not have to be my toughest opponent forever and that there will come a time for me to help someone overcome their battle within, through the perspective of Rocky Balboa. The quote above was a man who had faced his toughest opponent, and willing to help someone else through a similar battle.

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Phenomenal Pujol in Cuba

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The Art in Contemporary Cuba event was one that surprised me! Going to the Johnson, I anticipated viewing the works of Cuban artists on a lovely tour. Instead, I was met with a professor who taught language and a diligent student of Cuban art. In their presentation, their perspectives mixed in the most interesting of ways, which allowed for us to explore the various forms of Cuban art and the development of expression through Cuban art.

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However, of all of the parts of Cuban culture, politics and art that we explored, this piece by Ernesto Pujol. His work not only served to be self-reflective, but also worked to provide perspective of culture experienced by Cubans not in the country. To see the strings connected between one’s personal experience, to a broader culture was fascinating. Even more so these strings were connected on many levels because he uses religion. If I have not learned one thing about Latino and Hispanic cultures, similar to Black cultures, religion is significant to communities and personal development. Not every person encounters or has similar regard for religion in the same way, but are nonetheless affected by the presence of religion.

Another facet of this piece that I found fascinating is that it’s all white. This facet is even more interesting when considering that it’s the first within a series which inevitably leads his garments to be Black, which is significant in Catholicism order. He could have reversed the order in which he transitioned the colors. Also noted in the presentation, and true based upon personal research, Pujol is very specific about locations; it is referred to as “site-specific”.

Overall, there were many things to take from the presentation, but what stuck with me most was the talent and expression of Ernesto Pujol – a phenomenally bold artist.

Level ‘V’ Liberation…

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How had they done it? So openly. So boldly. So comfortably. They talked about those two words – the two words that had only been spoken in dire situation: VAGINA and SEX.

I watched scene after scene, women around my age, take back a power I rarely understood to exists. The power to break down the societal pressures and norms around what the vagina should and should not do. The power to determine that the vagina is meant for pleasure and understanding that pleasure should not be taboo. The power to attach this wonderfully crafted, God-masterpiece to liberation???

Liberation??

Liberation?

Liberation.

Liberation…

Liberation!

Li-Ber-A-Tion !!!!

The progression of the vagina being a great source of liberation clicked in my mind by the end of the Vagina Monologues, because I had come to learn that it was not a deep-dark secret that only my friends and I discussed in the privacy of our homes. The vagina was universal in those moments. The vagina was experienced in those moments. The vagina had stories and tips that I had longed to know, but never asked. Then I got to thinking…

My mother: a single-woman who has five daughters has spoken to us about our “coochies” as something to not be touched, and to be for marriage. What about the rest of it? What if we didn’t want to wait until marriage?

The women: Many of the women in my neighborhood treat vaginas and sex like taboo. Like the worst devil imagined. No one addresses it with youth until someone turns up pregnant as a teenager. Why isn’t anyone talking about how good sex is for the body, heart, and mind? Maybe because of religion. But then again that would be dumb because religion places great emphasis on sex. Now, of course it doesn’t place emphasis on pleasure. That’s the problem! I’m convinced that many grown women I know are in great need of sex, because no one taught them about pleasure and how amazing it is to discover their bodies, as well as allowing others.

Thinking of the Vagina Monologues, the different kinds of women who participated, my mother, the other women in my life, my sisters, my ideas of the vagina & sex, I knew that I was empowered. Now I may not run through the Earth screaming free vaginas of the patriarchy, religion, and societal norms, but I will work effortlessly to teach my sisters and my children – if I ever have them – that the vagina is one of God’s greatest creations, and we ought to embrace it!

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I Hadn’t Been There in a While…

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Dr. Alvarez needed more time to speak. I know this to be true because there were many deep themes introduced, through the social justice lens, that needed the audience needed more time to delve into.

However, his presence was the best kind of overwhelming, as I could not place him in any one box. I accepted the ideas, poems and thoughts he threw into the atmosphere with an open mind, and found myself in a place that I hadn’t been in a while – my soul.

In my daily life, I am in my mind, allowing it to affirm or question what it knows, while contemplating taking in more. Ever so often, I will attend a church service, livestream a service, watch a SuperSoul Sunday, or have a deep conversation with a friend about spirituality, and find myself discovering and reclaiming parts of my inner spirit. But to be in my soul, I don’t allow to take up my time.

My soul is the place where Love‘s unanswered questions and feelings reside, at least part of it. I like to divide love into two parts – the part that affirms my belief that God is Love and the part that is affected by human interactions. The latter resides in my soul and I don’t tamper with it much. Reason being was excellently said by Dr. Alvarez in the poem that he recited – a place that I don’t want to go.

One might question why I wouldn’t want to question the love in my soul. That love is fragile. It is a love that sets aside, and belittles, all of my accomplishments and accolades, and places a mirror in front of the parts no one can see. The part that has internalized all of the good and bad that I have seen. The bad relationships that I grew up around. The bad people that I came in contact with. The bad experiences that have scarred my ideas of love. But also, the good and idolized relationships that I grew up around. The good people who, to this day I cannot figure out why, love me, yet have no familial ties to me. The good images of love from Black and white romantic comedies that do not often match up with the realities around me. All of these things that I don’t tamper with because I fear they will make me cry, or desire more, or question what is, rest within my soul.

Dr. Alvarez did many things for me during his visit, but the most important was reminding me that there are some things I need to deal with. This is important because recently I had a conversation with one of my closest friends, during a confusing time for me. She explained how when she was in a similar place of doubt and hurt she learned that it was time to deal with all of the things that she hadn’t. Once she did, her life and love have improved tremendously.

I think that it’s time for me to do the same, so that Love & Life may be the good things they are designed to be for me.

DeepInWater

It’s Not Everything, But It’s Something. Right?

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chiraq

The articles flooded my social media timelines. They spoke of an artist’s defamation of a story that had much more to offer, but was negated due to his over-dramatization, oversimplification and sexism. All of these things I expected when I walked into the film, which I believe has led me to the more unpopular stance – Chi-Raq went well!

Like most individuals, after the film, I knew that newer social standards and ideas had been violated at a maximum. He had belittled women, issues within Black communities, and potential solutions. Yet for some reason I kept thinking that I had enjoyed myself.

As a woman of color, I did not take every little thing to be an exact replica of those living in underprivileged communities – that would be ignorant. There were many subtle and overt jokes. There were lots of colors. It was great art. I took it as that, art. Art that needed to be seen. What resonated most with me was that I could not tell someone the last time a film that placed great emphasis on Blacks, specifically African Americans, had been this widespread, and even playing in Cornell Cinema. I was happy to see people whose faces looked like mine on the big screen. I was happy to see oddly too simple stories told. I was happy to see Black women in “strong” roles. I had fallen for the trap.

The trap of enjoyment. The trap of relief. The trap of empathy. With this in mind, I’ve concluded that between the experiences needed to empathize, the legitimate criticism, and the unfortunate realization that many white people, whom have never interacted with people of color, will probably buy into these stereotypes, that this movie was NOT for everyone. So as happy as I am that it made it to the big screen, I understand that it’s not helping the big things…[Purposely Vague Statement].