Last Sunday, I participated in a dinner conversation with Kate Harding where she talked with us about the contexts of rape culture surrounding college campuses. I was surprised to learn that the male Scholars who were also there knew little to nothing about the term “rape culture” – a culture in which sexual violence is considered to be the norm, and where people are often taught how to prevent and avoid rape rather than teaching others not to rape. Harding also defined her views of sexual assault as an umbrella term for many sexual offenses against a person, whether that be rape, catcalling, groping, etc. Though the legal definition of sexual assault is specified as everything up to but not including rape, this made the term “sexual assault” easier to understand in my mind.
Being able to listen to Harding speak about sexual assault on college campuses was interesting, as she addressed many concerns such as the effects of alcohol on a person’s ability to consent and the importance of consent between two enthusiastic individuals about to participate in sex. Our group tried to come up with key words to use while we were with another person to address consent, such as “Do you like it when I do that?” and “Is it okay if we do this?”
One concern that another girl in the discussion group brought up was how to talk about rape culture with her younger siblings. She recalled telling them small things about rape culture, such as being aware of catcalling and how someone’s random comments on the street should not be seen as a compliment, but rather, as harassment. Another good point she brought up was telling her young siblings that if they don’t want an adult hugging or touching them without their permission, they should be able to adhere to it and respect their personal space.
Hearing this girl’s concerns for her younger siblings reminded me much of my younger sister, who is about to start college this fall. After the talk, I made sure to talk to my sister about some of the things I learned during this talk; I want her to make sure that she is not only looking forward to college, but is also safe.
Overall, I enjoyed Harding’s talk, but I feel it would have benefitted from a much smaller discussion group, as some voices dominated the conversation more than others. But I appreciate Harding taking the time to speak with us in a more intimate setting.