This past Thursday evening, I watched a movie named Creed. There was a scene in which the main character, Adonis explains the reason why he does not want to use his father’s last name. Simply put, he does not want to fail. His father, Apollo Creed, was a successful boxer: “one of the best in the world.” Adonis did not want to assume his father’s name and then potentially taint it with failure.

This made me think about the dynamics of a name: what it means, what it represents, and its impacts on how people navigate the world. To some people, their name is a small thing, and they do not ever give it a second thought. I’m John Doe. My parents picked it because they liked it. I am indifferent toward it.

Personally, my name means everything to me. I appreciate the people who take the time to get it right. Throughout most of my life, I have contemplated shortening or completely changing it. First, many people have mocked my name for being “weird” or “too exotic.”  Some have distorted it so terribly that it does not even make sense. One teacher even called me Julius for a whole semester. Second, a name can impact the thing we all dread: the job searching process. I am well aware of the fact that “Jane Smith” will probably get more callbacks than “Julissa Andrade,” and plenty of studies have proven this assertion. I have seen people become profoundly uncomfortable when they have to ask me how to pronounce my name multiple times. In fact, its been said that people with easier to pronounce names are typically more successful. In a New York Times article, more men named John run companies than women in general. If you think about it, names are very important.

My name is difficult for people to pronounce. My name tells them I am “foreign.” My name suggests I am a woman. My name suggests I am a woman of color. There are obviously forces at play beyond names, but I think they do play a factor in a lot of things. A name is a first impression.

After deep reflection, I have come to the conclusion that if I change my name I will lose the important things that it represents, effectively erasing my personal history. This means compromising a part of myself that I do not want to.

A quote that led me to this conclusion:

“Give your daughters difficult names that command the full use of the tongue. My name makes you want to tell me the truth. My name doesn’t allow me to trust anyone that cannot pronounce it right.” 

– Warsan Shire