I had originally been very interested in the event because “rape culture” is such a hot topic, and I felt that I would be able to learn much more than I could add to the conversation. Someone said, “Just because you’re a woman and you’re always told these issues, doesn’t mean you know everything there is to know.” I found this especially interesting because I’m not particularly very active in terms of supporting gender equality, although I do fully support it, and it struck me that someone who can be considered an “activist” could possibly have something more to learn about the topic. In reality, of course that would make sense, but I’m so used to people who are stubborn and unwilling to accept any thoughts other than their own that it took me by surprise.

I felt that the majority of the conversation was dominated by a few people, which isn’t always bad, but in this case, I wish that I could’ve had more questions answered. My questions were more geared towards those blurred lines of “consensual sex” and “sexual assault.” In society, we think of rape as coercive, but like Kate Harding mentioned, it’s not usually “someone jumping out of the bush and raping you.” It’s most of the times someone you know! However, the tricky part is when the two parties are consensual in the beginning, and somewhere along the way, one party decides he/she doesn’t want to continue, but doesn’t say anything and continues anyway. Ms. Harding’s take on this is that each party should be aware of the other party’s ongoing enthusiasm throughout the entire sexual activity. If the ongoing enthusiasm isn’t there, then the sex should stop. Of course, this situation sometimes can even happen to the most careful of people, but I think it’s more important to be aware of it now so that it can be prevented than to repent for doing it.

I found it interesting that the males in the room brought up the point that men are pushed by society that they should have sex at an early age, and if they’re in college and they haven’t had sex yet, they aren’t men. Though this is no excuse for sexual assault and rape culture, it’s important to realize that those who genuinely would never want to do such a thing won’t always realize it, and the most important thing now is to educate everyone so that we have less of these “excuses”.