By Dinah Torres Castro
Pushing child to “clean his plate” can backfire, a recent study warns:
- Consequences of belonging to the clean plate club have implications for how much children eat and their potential for overeating
- Parents who insist children clean their plate may be asserting excess control and could unknowingly be inhibiting the development of the child’s self-control around food
- Children who have been conditioned to clean their plates may have little control over their home food environment and might end up overreacting or ‘acting out’ by requesting more food when excess controls do not exist—such as when they are away from home
Many of us were raised in households where we were pressured into joining “the clean plate club.” And even though we dreaded hearing our parents telling us that if we didn’t eat everything on our plates we wouldn’t be allowed to belong to this prestigious club – especially on liver and onions night – we now find ourselves falling into that parent role pressuring our little ones to join. We do it because our parents did it. They wanted what was best for us and we also want what is best for our children. What we fail to remember is the agony the child is going through and the fact that children innately have the ability to know when they have had enough to eat. As they grow they can develop this sense of self-control around food if they are allowed to decide for themselves if they have had enough. Recent studies point out the “clean plate club” may in fact promote overeating which is not what we as parents set out to accomplish. We’re merely trying to nourish our children.
We often complain that our children are not eating enough or that feeding them is a never ending battle. To avoid these battles, we need to start by not forcing your children to clean their plates. Threats and punishments only reinforce the power struggle. Instead learn about your child’s and your own responsibilities in the feeding relationship. As parents we are responsible for providing what foods are presented, when the meal or snack is offered and where the meal takes place. Your child is responsible for how much he or she will eat, and whether or not they will eat. Once you accept these responsibilities and allow your child to handle his or her own you will find an end to mealtime battles. If your child is hungry they will eat and maybe that picky eater will surprise you by trying the variety of foods you provide for them.
To learn more about the feeding relationship check out Ellyn Satter’s books:
Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense
Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family
How to Get Your Child to Eat …But Not Too Much
Dinah Castro is a Bilingual Family Well-Being Educator with Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County’s Family Health and Wellness Program. She can be reached at 631-727-7850 ext. 351 or at dc258@cornell.edu.