By Nancy Olsen-Harbich, MA
Young children are enchanted by many animals close up, warm and snugly or even in a tank of water. After a happy experience with someone else’s pet, they often beg for one, whether it be a kitten, a bird, a fish or a pup. Depending on their own history of pet-ownership, parents may wonder what to say and do.
Knowing deep in their hearts that any real, consistent care of the pet of a child falls on parental shoulders, how should a parent respond? Of course, often space or time or schedule restraints take care of the answer immediately: “Not now”.
However, given no animal allergies in the household, and no history of scary experiences with an animal, it’s often hard to turn away from an adorable and available ball of fuzz and love, or a parakeet that sits on your finger.
But think. What are the pros and cons of pet ownership right now?
Here are some of the ADVANTAGES of pet ownership for young children:
- Your child understands responsibility as she helps to groom, protect and feed the pet.
- Consideration of others can be taught, as the child identifies with the pet and can feel cold or hot or hurt too.
- A child can become conscious of body language as adults point out what is happening. “Look! She’s switching her tail to say she is getting impatient sitting on your lap”
- Your child has a live, not electronic, companion to “talk” to and interact with in lonelier moments of the day.
- Teaching and training techniques – like praising desired behaviors and ignoring undesired, or reinforcement and mild punishment (They love saying “No!” as it is said to them!) can be effectively taught at this age (by you).
The DISADVANTAGES:
- A cat, dog, bird, even lizard or turtle, can live up to ten or more years. That darling charmer will be a family consideration a LONG time.
- Animals sicken and/or need vaccines. Veterinary bills can be expensive.
- Pets with a shorter lifespan – fish, rabbits, gerbils, guinea pigs, mice and rats – will, well, die. And ANY animal is able to have a fatal accident. Such a death experience can be both a good life lesson and, sometimes, a trauma for a young child. They will also see your response to a pet’s death as if it were your response to their own or others’ deaths. It’s not a small issue for the very young. Some children should really wait a year or two. Others will be OK. Think of who your child is, and how compassionate you would feel if the guinea pig died.
- Handling an animal by a young child requires constant supervision. Excitement or rivalry cause forgetfulness, and squeezing or dropping are always a hazard. The responsibility for supervision is the parent’s or caretaker’s.
- Having to give a pet away is, again, a learning opportunity , but one requiring great delicacy. Little children often identify with the “unwanted” animal.
In summary, think hard, choose as carefully as you can, and then if the pet comes home have a wonderful time with the new member of the family, caring, loving and playing.
Nancy Olsen-Harbich is Program Director and a Human Development Specialist with Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County’s Family Health and Wellness Program. She can be reached at 631-727-7850 ext. 332 or at no18@cornell.edu.