By Maxine Roeper Cohen, M.S.
In the nature of my work, I meet with parents of young children. There’s never a question that they all want their little ones to grow up to be confident, competent, caring, conscientious, and nurturing adults. Parents are the best role models for these traits, and children learn through observation and copying their parents. We live in a busy, busy world and parents are not always available to play with their children. We don’t realize the importance that playing with toys in an imaginative way has in helping children to develop good character traits. Whether it’s playing house, playing in a toy kitchen, playing school, firehouse, hospital, or courthouse, these all help shape children’s ideas about roles and jobs that they can take in society as they grow up.
We assume that our daughters will grow up to be caring, nurturing mothers. We also want our sons to grow up to be caring and nurturing fathers. How does this happen? Doll play is an important activity for both little girls and boys in order to eventually become loving caretakers. When my daughter was pregnant three years ago, it was quite difficult for me to find a boy doll for my then 3 year old grandson who would shortly become a big brother. I had to settle on a Curious George stuffed animal. If I needed to buy a super hero instead, I had an overabundance of choices. Super heroes are fine and fun for both girls and boys, but they don’t necessarily help a young child learn caring and nurturing behavior.
Is it O.K. for a boy to cook and a girl to build? Building kits (no brand names intended) are great for developing thinking, manipulative and spatial thinking skills in both sexes. Why is it then that some brand name sets subtly lead girls to particular building projects wrapped in pink colored boxes? Society has a way to go in bending gender assumptions.
So, let’s encourage our little ones to play with dolls and trucks and mud and puzzles and building. Let’s expand their horizons rather than limit their vision. Little girls can grow up to become plumbers and electricians and architects, and little boys can grow up to become nurses and preschool teachers. And they will all find jobs in these areas! Play is a young child’s work, and upwards of 8 hours a day is spent playing. Let’s look at toys for what they can offer our children in expanding their minds and imaginations, rather than limiting their options by making gender specific expectations..
Maxine Roeper Cohen is a Parent Educator with Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County’s Family Health and Wellness Program. She can be reached at mc333@cornell.edu.