By Kathy Sinkin, RN, CDE
Do you remember how you felt when you passed your road test and drove by yourself for the first time? Remember that sense of freedom and privilege? Think for one minute how you would feel if someone took your car keys away and said you couldn’t drive anymore. For older drivers and their families, the conversation about giving up the car keys can be challenging.
Age is just a number and shouldn’t be the sole reason a person stops driving. There are people in their 90’s who are safe drivers, while others who are much younger can be a real danger to themselves and others.
If you feel the need to take away a parent’s car keys, be empathetic and not confrontational. Try to keep the conversation non-accusatory and honest. Remember that this conversation is between adults, not child and parent, and help the senior gain comfort in asking for assistance.
It’s helpful if you can assist with driving your loved one to doctors’ appointments, shopping, and other activities. Look into other means of transportation such as a local bus. A driver’s license can be exchanged for an identification card at the Department of Motor Vehicles.
If your efforts fail, look for assistance from the senior’s physician. Sometimes it’s easier for a person to hear these words from their doctor instead of their children. You can ask the Department of Motor Vehicles to request the senior take a new vision examination, or a test on paper, and even go for an examination drive with an inspector. You can also ask the DMV to withhold the name of the person making the request.
Be prepared for some backlash and resistance. Try putting yourself in their shoes and imagining how you would feel if the car keys were taken away from you.
Kathy Sinkin is a Registered Nurse and Certified Diabetes Educator with Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County’s Family Health and Wellness Program. She can be reached at kas239@cornell.edu