Talking to kids about sex – why it’s important

By Kerri Kreh Reda, M.P.H.

If you have young children, you may not think it’s time to teach them about sex, but by age three children have already received many messages about sexuality. When you are expecting your baby, “Is it a boy or a girl?” is one of the first questions asked. Then we tend to dress our infant in pink or blue and buy trucks or dolls, depending on the gender. Our children identify with the parent of the same gender and often imitate the behaviors of that parent. As children grow older, they have access to outside influences such as the media and peers. As a parent, you should commit to having ongoing talks about sex, and this conversation should start early on.

Sexual development, which is part of human development, begins at birth. Sexual development includes physical changes that occur as children grow, as well as the knowledge they gain, the beliefs they form, and the behaviors they show. Children’s sexual development is influenced by their age, what they’ve been exposed to, and what they are taught.

It is essential that children have guidance in this area. Research shows that a lack of proper education and guidance can lead to high risk behaviors such as early sexual activity, teenage pregnancy, sexual abuse, and sexually transmitted infections. Currently:

• The U.S. has the highest rate of adolescent pregnancy among developed countries.
• Only one-third of adolescents engaging in intercourse use any form of birth control.
• One million teenagers become pregnant each year, and 1 in 10 adolescent girls becomes pregnant before age 20.
• The highest rate of increase in sexually transmitted infections is among adolescents.
• An estimated 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 10 boys are sexually abused during childhood. Ten  percent of all victims are less than 6 years of age. More than 70% of these cases involve persons known by the child, such as a step-parent, babysitter, or other family member.

Early and open communication about sexuality with your child:

• Develops a dialogue of trust
• Allows you to share family values
• Provides your child with accurate information
• Helps your child build effective decision making skills
• Counteracts negative and exploitative sexual messages in the media

When parents provide children with information about sex and sexuality that is both accurate and age-appropriate, they take a huge step towards making sure their children grow up safe, healthy, and comfortable with their bodies.

Resource:

Sexuality and Your Child ages 3-7 (University of Missouri-Columbia Extension)

http://extension.missouri.edu/explorepdf/hesguide/humanrel/gh6002.pdf

Kerri Kreh Reda, M.P.H., is a Human Development Specialist with Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County’s Family Health and Wellness Program. She can be reached at 631-727-7850 ext. 330 or at kkr5@cornell.edu.