By Kerri Kreh Reda, M.P.H.
When televisions were first invented they were expensive which meant that if a family could afford one, they could only afford 1! They were also quite large and usually kept in the living room where the whole family would gather around to watch family friendly shows. Fast forward to today – technology has made screens so small we can tuck one in our pocket wherever we go and almost everyone has their own tablet or smart phone regardless of age. Rather than bring families together our screens often isolate us from our family members even when we are all under the same roof.
Technology is certainly changing how we communicate with our children. Ten years ago parents joked with me about how they would e-mail their children from the downstairs of the house to the upstairs of the house where their children were to tell them dinner was ready, now they joke that they are texting. Before computers parents and children spoke to one another; now they are talking less in favor of typing.
I see younger and younger children using more and more technology. The more time children spend with devices that keep them quiet, the less they are talking and being spoken to. When children are included in conversations they are learning many social skills such as: how to make eye contact, the give and take of having a conversation and how to recognize a natural pause in a conversation when it would be appropriate to say “excuse me”. Children are also being read to less than in previous years. When children are spoken to and hear language, they develop language skills. We know this is important for future school success.
We hear a lot about children’s use of technology but equally important, although less talked about, is parent’s use of technology. Parental use of technology can have significant impacts on their children’s development. Have you heard about the research on mother’s “flat” expressions and the impact it has on their babies? This experiment shows how distressed a baby becomes when a mother is non-responsiveness. We know that children thrive when parents make eye contact with them, answer their coos and are responsive. When parents use smart phones or other devices our expression mirrors that of the “flat” expression and has similar impacts on our babies. This can negatively impact the parent-child bonding and attachment that is so critical for healthy development. If you have not heard of this please Google “Still face experiment” and view the video so you can see what I am referring to.
Older kids are not immune; they are often competing for our attention and will sometimes act out if we have been engaged with our technology for too long. So if you feel you might be spending too much time with your devices or might be distracted by them, make some changes to reduce the amount of time you are spending with screens and remember that you are role modeling for your children how to have balance in your life.
Additional resource: The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age by Catherine Steiner-Adair
Kerri Kreh Reda, M.P.H., is a Human Development Specialist with Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County’s Family Health and Wellness Program. She can be reached at 631-727-7850 ext. 330 or at kkr5@cornell.edu.