By Dinah Torres Castro
I think every mother has had at least one nightmare about this…you are in a grocery store and your child decides he must the sugary cereal that you have repeatedly told him he could not have. A loud wail followed by a full-fledged temper tantrum ensues. Not to worry here are great tips to help you avoid this situation.
- First, check to see how everyone is feeling—don’t go shopping at the end of a tiring, stressful day. If your child is tired, postpone shopping or arrange for a sitter. If your child is hungry give him something to eat to reduce the temptations of the food displays.
- Avoid shopping when stores are likely to be crowded and hectic—pick off-peak times to shop and shop close to home in order to reduce travel time that can test a child’s overall patience.
- Before going into the store, explain what will be purchased—try using a simple statement like, “We’re buying bread and milk today. We are not buying cookies or toys.”
- Make clear your expectations for your child’s behavior. Remind her to stay close to you—follow through when children break your rules. If your child is completely out of control in the store remove her immediately.
- Be consistent—if you decided not to buy candy, stick to that decision. The child may cry, scream or try other tactics to persuade you. Don’t give in and don’t worry about being embarrassed. Other parents will understand and will likely sympathize with you. Eventually the child will learn that this technique doesn’t work and will give up, but parents must be firm and consistent.
- Bring along some special items or playthings that can amuse or comfort a child while you shop—pack a favorite blanket, toy or book to help your child feel secure. Bring along a nutritious snack like whole grain crackers, cereal or fruit.
- Make a game of shopping—play an easy game like “I Spy” or sing a song. Let children count or sort the items in the shopping cart.
- For older children give them a small amount of money (50₵) that they can spend as they wish—but make sure they understand that the amount of money is all they have. They will not get extra money if they want more than one thing or choose the most expensive candy bar. This will help them learn that money is a limited resource and choices must be made when spending it.
- Keep the shopping trip short—you can make shopping more efficient by writing a list, clipping coupons in advance and knowing the store layout so you can shop quickly.
- If available, use the checkout lanes that do not display candy—you’ll prevent last minute temptations and tantrums.
- Remember to express your appreciation if the shopping trip goes well—this lets your child know you value his good behavior and will help to reinforce it.
Adapted from Parent Pages: Shopping with Kids developed by Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County
For more resources: http://umaine.edu/publications/4341e/
Dinah Castro is a Bilingual Family Well-Being Educator with Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County’s Family Health and Wellness Program. She can be reached at 631-727-7850 ext. 351 or at dc258@cornell.edu.