By Nancy Olsen-Harbich, MA
Once you are far enough into the school year, you will have a general idea of whether your child likes going to school and seems to be benefiting. Your greatest ally in ensuring that your child has a positive experience is your child’s teacher. It is never “interfering” to talk to the teacher about your child. Good teachers welcome parent involvement and studies have shown that parents’ participation is highly correlated with children’s success in school.
Communicate Interest and Appreciation
Like any good relationship, the parent/teacher connection must involve positive two-way communication. Find opportunities to express your appreciation. Write a quick note to the teacher if your child came home all pumped up because he learned how to use measuring spoons while making muffins in preschool that day. Expressions of appreciation not only show the teacher that you are involved and appreciative, but establish you as a reasonable person, which may help if you later have “issues” you need to discuss with the teacher.
Take time at the beginning or end of the school day to talk to the teacher about changes in the child’s life, such as the addition of a family pet or death of a relative.
Preparing for the Face-to-Face
Most pre-schools have regularly scheduled parent-teacher conferences. If your child’s school does, you can call for an appointment. Make sure that you will speak directly to the teacher and not only to the school’s owner or director. A director can clarify any concerns about policies and procedures, but the classroom teacher spends more time interacting with your child.
For children in grade school, parent teacher conferences will be scheduled and present a good opportunity for you to interact with your child’s teacher in person.
Tips for Meeting With the Teacher
- Prepare in advance. Write down your questions and concerns. Ask your child if there is anything he would like you to bring up at the meeting.
- Ask not only about your child’s learning experiences, but how she is doing socially. Does she make friends easily? Is she confident enough to ask questions or offer comments?
- Keep your emotions under control and your comments relevant to the purpose of the conference.
- Be open to the teacher’s suggestions. The teacher may offer you valuable feedback that can help your child at school and you at home. If your child always seems tired in school, an earlier bedtime might be needed. An observation that your child likes to play with a certain classroom board game or set of books may solve the birthday present dilemma.
- At your Spring conference, ask about classroom teachers for next year. Refrain from making a specific request, but do express the kind of teaching style you feel is best suited to your child’s learning style and see your current teacher agrees.
Thank the teacher for her comments and observations. Establish how you will keep in contact throughout the year. A positive parent/teacher partnership sets the stage for a successful school experience.
Nancy Olsen-Harbich is Program Director and a Human Development Specialist with Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County’s Family Health and Wellness Program. She can be reached at 631-727-7850 ext. 332 or at no18@cornell.edu.