At the Are You a Master of Love event last week, we discussed how and what it means to love a significant other. Love is not merely something one is “in”, but is something that needs to be exercised and nurtured over time. It is easy to become complacent and forget what the purpose of love is. Whether romantic or not, love is about people being fond of each other and making each other happy. People can lose sight of why they have the relationships they do and approach them as things to be gained and had rather than given. To maintain a relationship, each side must have empathy for the other and strive to make the connection work; otherwise, it will surely fail.
GRF Andrew mentioned a couple notable things that I had never thought about before. One thing he said was that he never goes to bed without first resolving the arguments he might have had with his wife. The idea not to go to bed angry or frustrated because of a conflict is enlightening. The nights I am anxious or vexed are the times I get my worst sleep, so it seems that not only is dealing with relationship issues before falling asleep helpful, but physically healthy too. Another valuable tidbit Andrew talked about was how to respond when one’s significant others are irritating. Instead of criticizing them, people should explain how what their partners did makes them feel. This communication creates an environment where each party wants to help the other rather than fight them for being ridiculous. Overall, making one’s feelings clear and being respectful of others’ allows everyone to be honest and able to analyze his or her situation better.
I found the idea that love is something that needs to be exercised very interesting. With understanding and empathy, I think it’s definitely possible to work through issues and return to being in a happy and healthy relationship. I agree that it’s a good idea to periodically remind yourself that relationships should be meaningful, whether they’re with friends, family members, or a significant other. I had heard that it’s a good idea to not go to bed angry with your partner before and still think it’s a great idea. That way, there are no hanging issues in the air or on your shoulders and sleep I’m sure comes much easier. I also agree that clear communication is key. Without it, there’s the possibility of misunderstandings that can lead to hurt feelings or disagreements, which are never good.
If everyone could communicate a little better, the world would be a MUCH better place. Nothing but stress comes from keeping things bottled up inside. Unfortunately, however, it’s not that easy… Emotions always seem to get in the way and “talking it out” can quickly become heated arguments if one partner is not receptive to the conversation. I’m not saying talking isn’t a good idea. I’m just saying it can be tough.
Interesting to hear that you should not go to bed angry at your significant other. Personally, I have found that sleeping on my feelings enables me to approach and talk about them better rather than say something immediately in an effort to fix it. That way, I don’t end up saying something I regret because I did not think it through.
It’s not always easy to resolve conflicts before going to bed. Like Sayma pointed out in the above comment, taking a break and sleeping can help people avoid making hasty decisions or saying hurtful things in the moment. However, I definitely agree with the importance of talking about how you personally feel during conflicts (versus simply criticizing your significant other).
That’s such a great thing that Andrew said he never goes to bed angry. It’s so important to always remember to tell those we love that we love that we love them. We so often forget to tell those around us how much they mean to us but we should all remember to do just that, especially around this holiday season.