We started our discussion by examining images that expressed those different types of love. I was surprised that the image of romantic love was ignored while most people were moved by the images that conveyed familial love, love of worship or love of humanity. When we think of love, we usually think of romantic love yet this seemed to be the least meaningful type of love for the people in our group.

We read an excerpt from All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks, which defined love as “the will to nurture our own and another’s spiritual growth”. She rejects the notion that love is simply a feeling and that love requires action. I agree with this idea because I think that we use the word love a lot and for it to truly express something, it needs to be accompanied by action. We also see romantic love as something we have no control over but I think we actively choose to fall in love. But, we fall back on the excuse of having no control over our emotions to compensate for failings within relationships. We also discussed whether hooks was right in saying that willingness to nurture and foster growth was required for a loving relationship. Can two people who are damaging to one another still love each other? I think that if a relationship is abusive then it cannot be called love and it may be obsession or infatuation. While the two people may feel as if they are in love, they are choosing to express love in a way that hinders their partner.

I think people have trouble accepting that their partner hinders them more than they nurture them. We make too many exceptions in the name of love and don’t take responsibility for our own well-being. More people would get out of unhealthy relationships if we measured love through actions rather than words.