Last Friday, I attended the showing of the emotional movie A Beautiful Mind, which features the life of John Nash who was celebrated for his genius mathematical theories yet endured the tricks played by his mind. The movie underscores the contrast between the genius of his theories, and the dramatic loss of clarity in his mind. His delusions make him believe fervently and wholeheartedly in things that are not present, immersing them into his world that is real and present. The movie concludes assuringly — through the tremendous support of his wife, medical treatment, and the harnessing of his will to combat his delusions, he was able to return to teach and continue the work that he was so passionate about.

I think that the reason this movie can stir so many emotions stems from the need of self preservation. It scares us that this could happen to anyone, that schizophrenia is a very real and affecting mental illness. John Nash was diagnosed with schizophrenia late, and was given no warning that it would happen. What is to say that it won’t happen to us? It is often said that what makes up who we are must contain how we think, our memories formed, the things in our mind, governed by our mind, empowered by our mind. So then who are we when this mind does things we feel like we can’t control? Are we the same people if our mind is mixing reality and imagination so thoroughly that we can’t tell? What even is it if our mind chooses to live in a different world? If there is a cure to a mental illness, once it’s cured, is someone a different person? It is unsettling to imagine that there are things that we simply have no conscious control over, yet comforting in that like John Nash, with proper help and support, it is possible to live with it.