Table talk with Ty was really good. We were able to analyze how our semester went socially, mentally, educationally, emotionally etc. what made me really enjoy this event was that we wrote things that went well this semester vs things that didn’t go well this semester and then we further  broke this down to other categories. This made me extremely appreciative that irrespective of how busy the semester has been, I still had positives and still made improvements     Another thing that I appreciated was that we were able to talk about current affairs which I love so much; however, because of time I haven’t had the time to keep up.

This Table Talk with Ty was really eye opening for me because it was the first time this semester that I actually took the time to reflect on what has happened to me. This semester proved to be really difficult, even though it was the least credits I have ever taken. And it was really hard to figure out why.

But the best part of this was that I got to deconstruct my semester an see that every difficulty and trial I had was turned into a positive. Whether it was a disappointment with my classes or a problem I faced at work, it was nice to see how I strategized a way to help remedy that disappointment.

Also it was great to see some of the residents I had met at previous events but have not had the pleasure of seeing recently. It was also really cool to meet Ty, someone who I had never attended an event with. That’s odd considering that this is my third year being a Rose Scholar. But it was super cool nonetheless.

Looking back at the semester with Ty and brainstorming what I could have improved on and what I did well taught me a few things. First, I should not be too confident of the classes I am going to take. Even though I did not take so many classes this semester and thought the semester would be easy it actually became very hard. Second, to take time out for meditation. Meditating has numerous benefits and not doing it this semester made me miss out on a lot of benefits meditating can carry.

Last week we had our final Rose Scholars event where we discussed logistics on continued occupancy and reflected on the fall semester. I liked this event because I got to meet more of the Rose Scholars as I had never met most of them before–it’s nice that we have such a strong community within our own dorm. I sat at a table with other Rose Service Scholars. As a volunteer at BJM, it was interesting to hear about what the volunteers at the animal shelter did. In addition, we did an exercise where we wrote down why we became a Rose Scholar and got to the core value that motivated our decision to join by answer nine “why” questions. I thought this exercise was interesting, and it was a fun way to get acquainted with other students as well.

Overall, I had a great semester in Rose as a Rose Scholar and volunteer. I liked my opportunity to tutor elementary school students and I liked engaging in Rose events to learn about new topics and meet other students. It was fun that we got to choose which events we wanted to attend based on our own interests. Thanks for a great semester!

This past Monday, Ty and other Rose House scholars, including myself, gathered around a table in Rose one last time to talk about our semesters. I had the pleasure of hearing about other’s goals this semester, remembering how beautifully different we are from each other. However, my own review of the semester had its pros, and its cons.

The Sweet

There were many areas that God really worked in this semester. I saw a significant improvement in my involvement in communities at Cornell, specifically Christian community. I learned a lot about career and my own path, getting a lot more specific in career towards the end of the semester. There are other things in and around me that miraculously occurred or transformed before my eyes, and I am grateful for that.

The Bitter

There were some things I learned being out of the country that I wanted to share with others, but never got around to doing. There were events I was supposed to sign up for much sooner, and people I wanted to talk to again after many months of silence. Whether gripped by fear, bitterness, anger, laziness, or inadequacy, I wasn’t able to do these things.

The Resolution

As for the past few months, they were still good. It’s ok that things didn’t go as planned. They still resulted in a lot of good. God has been good.

I still want to put my foot down and actually do the things I put off for so long, Lord-willing, before the semester ends.

This past Monday, I was able to sit down with a few students and speak with them about the semester and reflect on the positives and negatives of academics and personal life. GRF Ty, who is currently in his sixth year of study, told me of his interest in working on his post-doctorate, wanting to possibly work in a lab overseas in Switzerland. During the table talk reflection, we also brought up different events going on around the world and on campus, speaking about the Hong Kong democratic protests, as well as the recent passing of Antonio and the efforts to curve the negative externalities that Greek life brings about. Although I do enjoy reflecting on my past semester, which was one of the better semesters that I have had at Cornell, I also took some time to think of what I’m looking forward to next semester. I am going to be participating in the semester-long program Cornell in Washington, and I’m looking forward to getting involved with an internship as well as taking classes and enjoying the DC area. Although it is important to look back, looking forward to the future with hope is something that I also recommend, as it can help to lift spirits and re-align goals.

Today, Ty organized an open-ended Table Talk to discuss recent happenings, including personal, campus-wide, and external ones. I was honestly a bit hesitant to go in the beginning; future-wise, major things have happened to me recently, and a part of me was scared to talk about them.
I’ve only mentioned it a few times up until now.
First, to a part of my family. Their reaction has been, up until now… a bit weird. Supportive, but wary. As if a part of them hopes to convince me otherwise due to fear I’ll regret my decision.
Secondly, to a few friends here and House Fellows. When the subject appeared, I told these friends and spent the next few seconds/minutes observing their reactions. Supportive, though somewhat shocked. The House Fellows were always very supportive, and I appreciate that.
I also kind of wrote about it in a couple of my posts here, but not in a very specific way.

But I haven’t told many people who are close to me yet, or many people who are in Physics with me. Haven’t told my major advisor. Or my Physics colleagues. Or my dear friends from Brazil. Or even one of my brothers.

So, once again, today I was anxious/scared about saying out loud, in this large research university, that I’ve given up on the idea of going to grad school and of becoming a Physics Professor at a university. That I care about teaching way more than I care about research. That I decided to become a high school physics teacher (who also prepares students for physics competitions). And that I want to inspire as many young students as I can, and lead them as best as I can.

But I’m so glad I said it. Lea and Ty were so incredibly supportive, and that just made my day completely. Thanks, both of you

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I should probably talk more about the event (or at least give some context), and stop making a monologue about myself. Sorry (not sorry) O/v/O

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To give some context, we started out by briefly talking to our neighboring colleagues about recent happenings, personal, campus-wide, and global. I honestly didn’t have much to say here, because staying in touch with the “external world” has been super hard for me. Keeping up with everything going on in Brazil right now is already pretty mentally taxing to me, and when joined together with my own personal struggles that I mentioned earlier and with my classes and extracurriculars and work, it becomes really difficult for me to give the attention required for things like the Hong Kong protests, US news (like the impeachment hearing and upcoming elections), and other news. It seems other students shared a similar struggle, so at least I wasn’t alone in this! 🙂

Afterwards, Ty gave us each a sheet of paper to write down positive and negative news about our lives in Cornell and in our personal lives, which we’d then share with a colleague. Most of mine were related, directly or indirectly, to my decision to change my future career path (unsurprisingly). I also loved hearing Lea’s takes about their classes and their work, and how they essentially made a positive thing out of some of the negatives they’d written down. Lea’s comments were super constructive and inspiring!

This was a great way to close this semester. I wonder what different events next semester will bring and, similarly to my now-defined career, I look forward to these changes~

This evening, we had a talk over dinner at Rose House with Ty, a graduate resident at Founders Hall. It was an interesting discussion about events happening around the world and on campus. Many topics were raised, such as the Hong Kong situation and Trump impeachment to our own thoughts about this semester.

It was interesting to hear stories from the people I talked to. Some of us were enjoying the semester and talking a lot of interesting classes, others were overwhelmed by extracurriculars and work, but all of us seem to be having our own special college stories to tell. It would have been awesome to hear from more people, but unfortunately, time ran short and we had to end it. Hopefully there will be another reflection event like this next semester.