Can you date Your Friend’s Ex?
http://veronica.hubpages.com/hub/can_you_date_your_friends_ex
The article from Veronica.hubpages.com, “Can you date Your Friend’s Ex?” by Veronica was a very stimulating article for me. Just by reading the title, I can imagine putting myself in the situation and flashing through the memories. This article suggests three points to remember when you are going for friend’s ex. The article points out that “you wouldn’t want your so-called friend sneaking around behind your back. The odds are, neither would she.”
I tried to solve the question, but the collision between my two hearts was immense. Is it my friend or the ex, or can I work this out with everyone remaining happy. I did not know how I could make this possible in the first thinking process, listening to what my heart and brain say. Do you think this is possible? Or if it happens to be you in the situation, what would choose to do? Is it your friend or is it the tasty friend’s ex without being a guy sneaking around behind friend’s back. I bet your mind is going through pretty hard conflict. If you say you will choose a friendship without thinking, I bet your words are contradiction to your past experience and actions. I know this because I always say the same; however, I had this kind of situation recently, and my actions were not quiet close to my words. However, after reading this article and applied to what we learned in Cornell, INFO 2040 class, now I have a slight idea how I can work this out, or at least I could ease my thoughts from the past.
The three points that the author point outs are:
- Do not get dragged into a tit for tat about her failed relationship. “If she wants to point out how he never called when he would be late, do not defend him and point out that her version of late is 25 seconds.”
- Do not compare. “Do not compare how much better you would handle something with this guy than she did. Do not compare your past relationships to hers.”
- And do not ever imply that you can succeed where she failed.
You will see it more clear when you read the article at: http://veronica.hubpages.com/hub/can_you_date_your_friends_ex, what the author is advising. One of the properties I’ve learned in the INFO 2040 at Cornell was balanced or unbalanced network. The principle of this network explains what the balanced network is. The diagram below shows the principle of this property.
In the diagram above, yellow circle is being each person, and red line is showing the friendship between people. In order for networks to be balanced and exist, all friendship should be a positive relationship or there should be two dislike friendship and one positive friendship, otherwise the network will be unbalanced ant it will fall apart. So as the article mentions there are two different outcomes and two different ways for each from this complicated situation. In the beginning of the article author mentions own experience, “I had another friend who actually hooked me up with an ex of hers. That worked out fine and fun for all.” This was possible because it is the example of the top left diagram, because even after friend and the ex broke up they maintained positive friendship that friend could be cool enough to hook you up to his or her ex rather than dislike negative relationship. So by you and the friend’s ex going out, all three relationships became likely friendship, so can be considered as the balanced network. Another way you can go out with your friend’s ex is following the top right diagram above. By you and your friend’s ex both to turn the relationship with your friend to negative relationship, you and the friend’s ex can work out. This will be the case where you will become a “friend sneaking around behind the back.” In conclusion, The three tips that author suggests is trying to work out the all three friendship to become all positive like the top left diagram that both you and friend’s ex not to hate or dislike your friend and preventing your self from being the guy sneaking in the back. After all this is your decision, whether to go for friend’s ex, but I think this tip is pretty helpful at least to my recent experience. If you were to go for friends ex, read this article first, apply with the balanced network property, and go for it!
In Sung Ahn
ia56
Awesome post! Great Job! Really enjoyed it.
You would definitely go out with your friend’s ex
I mean ex’s friend. Whatev’s