As someone who has never heard the experience of someone who has had cancer firsthand, the talk by Jason Hungerford was very impactful. Not only was I able to hear a very personal story, I was able to learn more about cancer and its social effect, as well as some of the resources available for people affected by cancer in Ithaca. Last semester, I did the Cancer Walkathon that was offered as a Rose event. It was a great experience, since I was able to see the support the cancer community has in Ithaca.

In Jason’s talk, I was able to hear more about what the funds raised by events, such as the walkathon, go to at the Cancer Resource Center. This talk definitely made me see a different perspective on cancer, and made me appreciate the openness with which Jason spoke to us. Often during his talk he would joke about how he felt that some of the things he was telling us about his experience might make us uncomfortable, but that he wanted to be as clear as he could about his experience with cancer. Rather, I feel that many of us saw his openness simply as someone who wanted to share a very personal experience and was willing to answer any questions we may have. I believe that Jason’s openness was the key to us feeling comfortable in approaching him about the topic.

This week, I attended Jason Hungerford’s Rose Cafe, during which he spoke his struggle with and survival against cancer. Despite the seriousness of the topic, I was surprised to hear how he was able to insert humor and make us laugh throughout the discussion. His ability to do that really demonstrated his personal growth and how he’s changed his viewpoint about cancer. I gained a lot of awareness about cancer and how to support someone going through cancer by how open Jason was on his struggles; he spoke candidly about embarrassing topics others were afraid to talk about and exposed a lot of the stigmas around cancer, including racial, gender, sexual orientation, and the type of cancer people had.

A particularly strong takeaway I had was his words regarding how others described him as brave. Instead of considering himself as brave, Jason compared himself to a firefighter; he didn’t choose this path or to go through adversity, he was instead forced to go through it and overcome all the challenges thrown his way. Although he doesn’t consider himself to be brave, brave, directly quoted from the dictionary definition, means “ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage.” Jason may not have chosen this path, but I believe the way he adapted to his struggles and chose to change his perspective can definitely be described as brave.

Through meeting with Jason Hungerford and talking about this experience with colon cancer, I have learned more about how to deal with family or friends suffering from bad experiences. Jason talked about using the concept of rings around you, with you being in the center of the ring and your friends/family/acquaintances stemming outward (like ripples). As the person in the center of your ring, when you seek comfort, you naturally gravitate outwards. However, a person outside of your ring should seek help outwards, not inwards.

Talking with Jason also made me realize that we should take the time to enjoy life and not focus 100% on work. This applies to school, since many people just focus on school instead of taking the time to gain new experiences and live.

Jason Hungerford gave a detailed struggles he had with colon cancer, it reminded me of the time when my grandfather was diagnosed and passed away from brain cancer. The part when he describes the various circles of people who are affected and who you should discuss the problem with was very informative as he describes the failures of many attempts at comfort. While my experience is definitely different from his, I remember the various relatives (or family friends) that came to visit my grandfather. I don’t think my grandfather could really comprehend what was happening, but realistically, they could not do anything in spite of their good intentions I felt that they did not contribute to me feeling any better about the situation. I could understand how Jason Hungerford felt when he said people were offering their support for this struggle with cancer, when all he wanted was to be treated normally and not reminded of his cancer all the time. I felt their presence only reminded me of the reality that I wanted to forget. I really hope I can understand how to comfort people when they are struggling (for things besides cancer as well), and not be part of the problem of people making situations worse in spite of the best intentions, since I felt like I have personally been treated in a way that fits into that category.

Medical topics make people uncomfortable, especially when the presenter has to recount their experiences of unimaginable pain to listeners. The topic of cancer has always had a stigma to it and is usually a rather private topic to the afflicted. However, what I found most impressive was Jason’s rather cavalier attitude to recounting his fight with cancer. Although he was talking to an audience who are unlikely to understand what he went through, he was able to describe his feelings and what he had to go through to overcome cancer. Just from his presentation, I was able to feel the trauma that such an experience could leave someone with. However, the most impressive feat that I found was that Jason was able to use this life-changing experience to help others that have been diagnosed with cancer. I cannot imagine the strength required to relive the cancer experience and to go back and counsel others facing the same life-changing trauma is not something that anyone could do. By not letting this brush with death affect him shows that Jason was able to mentally and physically overcome cancer which is such an impressive feat.

I learned a lot from Jason Hungerford’s Rose Cafe about cancer. I expected a very serious talk but he inserted humor and was very open about his journey with cancer. Cancer is something we rarely discuss because it is difficult to do so. He talked about how he had to navigate through other peoples’ emotions. I learned that the way to properly help and support someone going through cancer is to take their lead, gauging to see whether they want to talk about it that day. We should offer help through specific actions instead of vague support like “call me if you need anything” because they don’t want to feel like they’re burdening us. I was really interested when he talked about intersectionality and cancer. The quality of treatment and willingness to seek help all depends on many factors such as race, gender, sexual orientation, economic status, and previous trauma. There are also stigmas that come with different types of cancer such as colorectal, HPV, and lung cancer. As soon as he said lung cancer, I unconsciously made the association with smoking even though I know that not everyone who has lung cancer has smoked before. I’m glad I was able to hear about these different perspectives of cancer through this talk.

Jason Hungerford’s talk about with journey with cancer was perspective-breaking. He discussed the judgements that come with certain types of cancer and how they can prevent patients from feeling comfortable with sharing their stories. Coming in, I had no previous knowledge of cancer biases or any personal experiences with cancer. Therefore, it was even more eye-opening. He discussed how there were people he met that felt embarrassed sharing their stories due to words and biases associated with their type of cancer. I thought that this was terrible because people should be able to share their struggles and stories without pre-determined bias. Therefore, I think it is important for us to take a step back and observe the stereotypes we have in place.

Everyone knows cancer is a terrible, terrible thing, but no one has ever really walked us through exactly what kind of day-to-day struggles, anxieties, miseries it forces on the patients, let alone the lasting emotional and physical impacts. I think it’s because it’s such a heavy, emotional, sensitive subject that makes people avoid asking more, which is why I’d like to thank Jason for the courage and candor to talk about such a vulnerable subject with us.

The cafe chat helped me consider the stigma that exists among cancer patients, how rectal cancer has an entirely different connotation than, say, breast cancer, not to mention the additional dimension that intersectionality brings.

I guess the first thing I have to say that I really appreciated was Jason Hungerford’s openness and lightheartedness when explaining to us his experience with cancer. This is a theme often surrounded by taboo and one which people avoid discussing***, so I’m very grateful he didn’t spare us details and was as open as possible, all while even making jokes about his own experience with colorectal cancer (personally, I felt a bit uncomfortable, at times, about laughing at the jokes. But I’m glad he made them nonetheless). Because of this, learning his story and point of view was very instructive, and helped me to become a bit more familiar with a reality I’m not used to.

***(even internally, as he explained to us that people with certain kinds of cancer tend to speak less openly than others because those cancer types are filled with social stereotypes. For example, lung cancer is immediately associated, by people, with smoking, even if that has nothing to do with the lung cancer patient themselves)

One of the main things which I’m glad he addressed was the process of helping people, particularly two things on it. Firstly, the support ring idea, in which the afflicted person is on the center, and people should always look outwards for support. This is something I always sort-of internally understood (my parents worry a bit too much and so, until fairly recently, I had to constantly work around their emotions when talking about my problems and decisions. This always made me feel extremely awkward), and I’m happy to hear it summarized and depicted in such a clear way! Secondly, how slightly different ways of phrasing things can give completely different results, when trying to help people (for example, giving specific examples or asking specific things we can do is much more effective than offering help in general or a “let me know if you need anything”). Personally, I often feel a bit useless for being so far away from most of my friends (who are back in Brazil) and, thus, for not being able to do much for them when they need it. And I notice I sometimes resort to this unhelpful “let me know if you need anything”, because my options are very limited and I do’nt know much what to say. Although my options won’t become any less limited for the time being, I’ll try to keep the idea of being more specific in mind and avoid this kind of sentence a bit more actively. Hopefully, I’ll be able to do a bit more for the people I care about! 🙂

Jason Hungerford’s cafe talk made me reflect upon how intersectionality plays a role in the journey of treatment and experiences people have. I have learned about intersectionality affecting social justice issues such as domestic violence and sexual trafficking in Alternative Breaks and made me realize how intersectionality affects every little thing in this discriminated society. I also found it inspiring that in the major events that you cannot control, it is up to what you do with it to shape your life onward. I learned to be careful with the terms I use that others do not feel comfortable with and to listen and not burden them with my emotions. I appreciate Jason Hungerford for sharing his journey and informing us about how we can get involved.

Two weeks ago, I had the pleasure of hearing Jason Hungerford speak about his lived experience surviving cancer and his process of recovery afterward. I found his presentation singularly moving because of both the gravity of Mr. Hungeroford’s experience, and his remarkable candor in sharing it. Cancer has been prominent in the media for my entire life, however, before hearing Mr. Hungerford speak, I had never personally heard anyone speak about their own experience with cancer, let alone about its effects on their lives after treatment ceases. Even as someone who has spent his entire life in the “medical world,” due to my disability and my mother’s profession as a doctor, I realized during the speech just how little even I think about the continued impact medical diagnoses, especially cancer, can have on the lives of those they impact. I believe that we as a society, as well as the medical profession, ought to pay more attention to just that.

It was an honor to get to hear Jason’s story at the Rose Café last Wednesday. Learning about his journey and how he was changed by it made me reflect on two main things, what to say and do when someone tells you about their diagnosis and the importance of a work-life balance.

One of the things that Jason talked about was not burdening a cancer patient who tells you their diagnosis with your own feelings and thoughts about it. Facing the disease and the challenges that come with it is hard enough. It is not helpful for the patient’s support group to expect the patient to also deal with the feelings of others. Instead of putting emotions on the patient, it is important that you be a pillar of support for the patient. If you also need help with handling the situation, you can lean on those who are more removed from the patient in the patient’s social circle. I thought that the ring analogy that was described was very interesting and painted a clearer picture of what of how to be helpful to the patient.

Another point that Jason described was the change that his diagnosis brought about in his work-life balance. Previously, his work dominated his life and not much thought was given to living it. Now, he has a healthier balance between the two. This reminded me of my own process of attempting to strike the right balance. Along with this, I am also reminded that I should be grateful for my opportunities in life and not wait for a life-altering event to make me realize the good things.

The C word is something that no one wants to hear, no one wants to discuss. Well, Jason talked about cancer for about an hour straight and definitely helped to shed some light on the subject and how to deal with it. He spoke about his own experience with cancer at length. He got diagnosed when he was in his early thirties with colorectal cancer and described his emotions when he got diagnosed as well as through his chemotherapy and radioactive therapy. One part of his presentation that I found compelling was this ring of support that he showed, in which the person diagnosed with cancer was in the center and the are rings of people surrounding that person (first family, then friends, then colleagues, and so on) and support flows inward toward the center, while other emotions like fear, anger, nervousness and so on flow outwards. This makes it so that the person who has cancer is never having to comfort those around them, and that they are only receiving support from those around them. This talk also made me think of my own experience with cancer, as in high school, my best friend’s mother passed of cancer. My friend never really talked about her mother, and so whenever we were around her, we would also not bring it up and often stray from the topic and even though I had good intentions, I learned that it’s not always a good thing to completely ignore cancer and how it is affecting those around you. Sometimes it’s important to talk about it and bring it up, especially if you are the outside ring. Although it is too late now to go back and attempt to aid my friend in a better way, now I know for future reference how to better aid with those who are impacted by cancer.

Some interesting advice that I received is that when dealing with a friend or a family member who has cancer, it is better to not express your worries or your frustration to them. If you need comfort in this time, then it is better to go to a friend of yours who is not associated with the person who has cancer. This ensures that the person who has cancer does not feel an overwhelming amount of stress. The person is already going through so many of their own emotions and is trying to figure out how to deal with this new life of theirs. It is better if you don’t add on your own emotions and worries to them, but rather you just act as someone to lean on. Jason Hungerford was very inspirational because he experienced this cancer diagnosis and he turned into a positive thing. He is taking the experiences that he has gone through and using it to now help others who are going through the same thing. He continues to fight on and he continues to persevere. Something that was very motivational for me is that he said that he doesn’t let his cancer diagnosis get in the way of his life. If anything it taught him how to balance life more. For instance, before his cancer diagnosis, he was working 60 + hours a week with very little time for anything else. However, after his diagnosis, he started to realize that you have to live life as well rather than just working all the time. I think this is something that we can all learn from. I know that with school, I can shut myself in the library until 2 o’clock in the morning and just never really socialize. But life isn’t about just grinding away, it is about enjoying it.