Want to help a friend you think has an eating disorder? Here are some helpful tips

This week at Rose Cafe we were fortunate enough to be joined by a gentleman who works in facilities management. An interesting topic was brought up in the beginning of the conversation by Dr.Blalock about eating disorders. What do you do if you see someone who you think has an eating disorder? [Here is a link of what Cornell Health recommends you do if you see someone in distress generally speaking: https://health.cornell.edu/resources/health-topics/concern-others]

I thought this was a topic that hits very close to home. As someone who is in recovery for an eating disorder and witnessed one of my friends in high school struggle with an eating disorder I think it is a very important topic to address. [ Disclaimer: I can’t speak for what is best for everyone but if you are looking for some tips on this hopefully I can be of some assistance. It is important to note that all eating disorders are different and so I urge you to first educate your self on eating disorders and different ways they can manifest.] The topic brought up at rose cafe was how do you talk to someone who you think might have an eating disorder? Here is my take on what you could do. If you are uncomfortable talking to this person yourself you may want to inform someone like Dr.Blalock or your GRF depending on where you are and have them address the issue (they will most likely make them aware of on campus resources but cannot make them seek treatment). If this a friend and you want to talk to them about it you can try, just know they may not like what you have to say. If you do talk to them check out the link in the first paragraph it offers helpful suggestions.  (I would also like to point out that you can be any size and still have an eating disorder. Just because someone is at a normal weight or overweight does not mean they don’t have an eating disorder.) If you are looking for good resources about what help is available I have included resources that may be of use to you.

Here are some good resources:

In terms of resources on campus here is Cornell Health’s page on eating disorder concerns: https://health.cornell.edu/services/nutrition-healthy-eating-services

Here is a short excerpt from that page that might be of interest: “If you’re concerned about someone else: You can speak with a member of the CHEP team to consult about a student, and brainstorm about how to refer someone to treatment. Call us during business hours at 607-255-5155 and ask to speak with a CHEP provider. Learn more about disordered eating, and about how to help a friend.”

Here is a fact sheet from Cornell health about how to help a friend with an eating disorder: https://health.cornell.edu/sites/health/files/pdf-library/how-to-help-eating-disorder.pdf

Here is a fact sheet specifically about CHEP (Cornell Healthy Eating Program): https://health.cornell.edu/sites/health/files/pdf-library/cornell-health-eating-program.pdf

Here is the website for NEDA (national eating disorder association): https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/general-information

Not a fan of reading or looking for some non-cornell online resources? Here are some videos that I think are helpful:

How to help someone with an eating disorder from the perspective of someone who is recovered from an eating disorder: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbIB2W2kZus

Heres a 3 minute video from a therapists perspective that offers 5 tips: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrtD5HLovqY

Heres a video titled “what eating disorder suffers wish you knew about eating disorders”. I particularly like this video because it encompasses the opinions of multiple people with eating disorders. : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydBK0vtYniE

Cornell Health is a good on campus resource for someone seeking treatment for their eating disorder.

If you have an eating disorder I know it is nerve-wracking reaching out for help but it is a necessary part of beginning to recover. I know your eating disorder voice is probably telling you not to and that you are going to be judged or you’re not thin enough (although some eating disorders do not result in weight loss) but everyone at Cornell Health who works with eating disorders is very supportive and will help you or get you the help you need. I know its absolutely terrifying and the thought makes you anxious but they are wonderful, very caring people and reaching out is not easy but recovery is absolutely worth it.

If you have an eating disorder and feel like you are not ready for recovery, don’t want recovery, or are scared of getting help here are some of helpful videos (yes they are from the same 2 youtube channels but they are recovery oriented and in my opinion great online resources):

Not Ready for Recovery: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJL9pG7ruTQ&t=573s

What is recovery?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npXLPLO266c&t=21s

How Sick Do I Have To be To Get Help? [The title of this video is a little misleading if you don’t actually watch the video but the point is if think you have an eating disorder you are sick enough to get help] : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXd3JbpiuXo

Scared to see a dietician/nutritionist? Watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9c7jD13JESE&list=PL_loxoCVsWqx8b27IXCAQNcpfMtcwmiXD

Scared of your first therapy appointment? Check out this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FiVVAOXiEQ

Popular questions about eating disorders: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWZL6eJHNS8

Here are some of the health consequences:

General medical consequences:   https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/health-consequences-eating-disorders

More general medical consequences:   http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/conditions/eating-disorders

Medical consequences of bulimia:   https://www.healthline.com/health/bulimia/effects-on-body#1

Medical consequences of anorexia:  http://www.timberlineknolls.com/eating-disorder/anorexia/sign-effects/

Medical consequences of binge eating disorder:  https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/information/binge-eating-disorder/diagnosis-effects-consequences

These are things that I found helpful or maybe helpful. This is not an exhaustive list, there obviously a lot more resources and these are just the tip of the iceberg.I encourage you to continue researching and if you find a resource you think may be particularly helpful leave the link or information below. I know this is a long post and most people haven’t made it this far but if you have then hopefully I have made a difference in the life of at least one person.

Edit (October 2018)

Here are some resources just in case you ever find yourself relapsing:

10 ways to cope with relapse from NEDA: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/blog/10-ways-cope-with-relapse-eating-disorder-recovery

Relapse info from NEDC (Australian version of NEDA): https://www.nedc.com.au/eating-disorders/treatment-and-recovery/relapse-and-recurrence/

If you ever do relapse please talk to your treatment team.

I’ll try to add more resources if I find some really helpful ones.

 

2 thoughts on “Want to help a friend you think has an eating disorder? Here are some helpful tips

  1. I am impressed by the breadth of this post and the variety of resources suggested. I am curious, though, about how/why this topic was raised at the start of this Rose Cafe; I would have been intrigued to hear the discussion. From this and other posts, this event sounded like a good opportunity to gain a greater appreciation for the resources and work that go into making West Campus so convenient and comfortable.

    • I believe the conversation started with Tony (the guest at the event) telling some stories about his communication with some of the members of the custodial staff. He told a story about a custodian who saw a girl in the hallway crying and he called Tony to find out what he should do in that situation. Dr. Blalock then brought up situation where he was informed about a young woman who appeared to have an eating disorder and he had to respond to that situation. Tony then brought up a story involving someone with an eating disorder. While eating disorders and responding to people in distress wasn’t the focus of the conversation I thought this was an important issue to discuss given the prevalence of eating disorders on college campuses. The talk however was very interesting and Tony really seemed to care about the comfort of all west campus residents.