Wall-E is an uplifting film. Robots are adorable and it has a happy ending. At the same time, however, there are all sorts of dark themes creeping in at the edges that make it a lot less calming than I had hoped.

Like, completely destroying the Earth and having to leave seems like an increasingly plausible scenario for humanity. And to what extent are we already just sitting around and getting fatter and letting technology do everything for us?

But most importantly: why did they make those robots sentient? I’m serious. Wall-E is a trash compacting robot. A robot that I am sure already exists in some form, except for the whole sentience bit.  Why would you want the robot that is doing your dirty work all day to be sentient? This movie was just asking for a robot apocalypse. In fact, now that I think about it, I am starting to believe that there was a robot apocalypse and that’s why all the humans had to leave. And then the robots got onto their ship anyway and found a perfect way to make the lives of all the humans onboard completely horrible. Which would explain Auto.

This is increasingly turning into a weird fan theory. Does Cornell have a major in conspiracy theories? I have a feeling I’d be good at it.

In conclusion: The earth is flat and Stanley Kubrick directed the faked moon landing.