Saying “I Love You”
Romance is important to many people; it’s something people desperately search to find, fight to keep, and refuse to let go of. But many relationships fall apart or are difficult to navigate because of a lack of communication between the two parties involved. Saying “I love you” is one of the biggest milestones in the beginning stages of a relationship, partly because it marks where one or both acknowledge that their relationship is “real” and they truly begin to commit.
However, if only one person says “I love you”, and the other doesn’t for whatever reason, it can cause awkardness and feelings of rejection. It doesn’t matter why the other withheld saying it back — whether he/she isn’t completely sure of their feelings, is scared of commitment, or just doesn’t feel the same way –, the relationship now has a different undertone, one of expectation and disappointment. This article describes how to determine the “right time” to say “I love you”, and how to navigate each time one might be tempted to say it.
This phenomenon relates to our in-class discussion of game theory, as each party’s decision for whether or not to say “I love you” has different consequences for each choice and each party. Additionally, each party’s choice is independent and made without knowledge of the other party’s choice. If only one person says it and the other doesn’t, in both cases it will create a feeling of rejection by the other party, which could potentially lead to fighting, feelings of discontentment, and possibly even the end of the relationship. If neither person says it, the relationship does not change and instead continues on the course it was going. But it both people decide to say it, the relationship is strengthened by the affirmation of strong feelings and desire for commitment, which is the best case scenario. However, there is no dominant strategy in this scenario, as it is better for P1 to say it of P2 says it, and better to not say it if P2 doesn’t say it. So, in conclusion, relationships are hard.
good conclusion!