I am sure you have seen the ads called “PRICELESS”. They usually went something like this:
A dinner for two and a bottle of wine at a fine restaurant- $140
A diamond ring- $3,000
The answer “yes”- priceless
I think it is time we had some “priceless” ads for farmers. Sort of like this:
Vet bill for drugs and therapy to get your best cow pregnant-$400
Cost of Semen from one of the most popular purebred bulls available-$600
A healthy full term heifer calf from this spoiled pet-priceless
Cost of an outstanding crop of corn in the field by the road
Price for plowing, fertilizing and planting the field-$450 per acre
Cash cost or seed, fertilizer and weed control-$600 per acre
Watching the neighboring farmers slow down to admire your tremendous crop-priceless
Sometimes the only fun a farmer has is getting the best of a bureaucrat
Cost of the hours spent trying to meet their arbitrary deadlines-$4oo
Cost of time spent collecting and guessing at the information they wanted-$500
The satisfaction you get from them searching in vain for a paperwork mistake-priceless
With too much to do and too little time, farmers become excellent time managers
Blending plowing and final tilling into one trip over the field saves $150 per acre
Finishing harvest of the first cutting earlier increases its energy & protein- $300 per acre
More energy and protein means more milk per cow all year-priceless
Dealing with breakdowns is one of the perils of depending on machines so much on the farm.
When a farm machine breaks down during harvest everything comes to a halt
Time spent making repairs is frustrating enough for any farmer
Finding just the part you need in the bottom of a box of spare parts-priceless
Dealing with salesman is one of the necessary evils of modern farming.
A good salesman needs to be honest and informative
And respect that your time is valuable, too.
Finding one who is honest, informative and doesn’t waste your time-priceless
Of all the variables a farmer must contend with, weather is the most challenging.
After checking forecasts on the internet, weather channel and favorite meteorologist &
Making the decision to start the process of harvesting a perfect crop of alfalfa &
Seeing the last of it harvested and undercover just before the skies open up-priceless
Corn must be planted as early as possible to take advantage of maximum hours of sunlight.
As an April fools prank I have always been tempted, just as the last of the snow is melting, to shine up my plows, so it looks like I have been plowing
Then show off by slowly driving by several neighboring farms
Just to see the look on their faces wondering where I found a field dry enough-priceless
Farmers work hard and make many critical decisions every day. Having a sense of humor to enjoy an occasional victory-priceless.
Joe Peck, a Saratoga County dairy farmer, storyteller and humorous speaker, is author of “A Tractor in the House & Other Smashing Farm Stories” and “A Cow in the Pool & Udder Humorous Farm Stories” which you may order at www.joepeckonline.com or call (518) 584-4129.
