Our milking parlor is almost forty five years old. Well not all of it, most of the original framework had to be replaced along the way. Rust and the jostling of eight generations of 1800 cows have taken its toll. So far we just keep repairing and updating as needed. Our cows are used to it and they don’t get out enough to know there might be something better somewhere else.
In fact our favorite form of recreation is watching other farmers build the barn and milking facility of their dreams. It’s an economical sport, too. All that is required is a thorough investigation of their plans, some encouraging words and a sincere assurance they have made the right decision.
Improving a milking parlor is a big deal. It’s a huge financial commitment, a decision as weighty as who to marry or when to finally give up that 1980 pick-up you can’t bear to retire. And there are so many possibilities. I have traveled all over New York and New England to visit state of the art parlors of all shapes, sizes and creative configurations.
One of the current trends is to scrap the parlor entirely and to go to these modern newfangled robot milkers. Despite my fear of computers and technology, I couldn’t resist checking out this option.
In case you haven’t herd, by robotic milker I am NOT referring to an actual machine that looks like a man who kneels down and milks your cow, but rather a special stall that each cow walks into with a milking machine that automatically attaches itself to the cow’s udder and milks her. I’m serious, she in effect milks herself, with no one around to kick at, swish her tail on or sneeze over. In fact one robot stall, on average, can milk 55 cows between two and three times a day.
“Boy that sounds great, are there any disadvantages?” you might ask.
There are only three problems. First is their cost, and as the used car dealer once told me, “If you have to ask how much it costs, you can’t afford it.” Second, it may take a while to train your cows to voluntarily enter the robot stall every time they feel the pressure building up in their udders, despite the alluring grain available to them there. And the third challenge is to decide what to do with all the free time you used to spend in the milking parlor.
There are other options still under development. One is an innovative double-decker parlor designed primarily to save space. Its biggest problem is convincing the cows to climb the spiral staircase to the upper level and also, for obvious reasons, no-one wanted to work below those cows on the upper level. Another design popular with today’s lifestyle is the new Eco-Parlor. It is made entirely from recycled materials commonly found on most farms. Its framework will be an amalgam of old black plastic, baler twine and old seed corn hats.
Not all new ideas are good ones. Take the suggestion that a lot of money could be saved by making the floor of the parlor from an old trampoline. For me that just wouldn’t fly. Oh well, I guess I can make it another 45 years in my parlor, unless someone can assure me that the next great idea is best for our farm.
Joe Peck, a Saratoga County dairy farmer, storyteller and humorous speaker, is author of “A Tractor in the House & Other Smashing Farm Stories” and “A Cow in the Pool & Udder Humorous Farm Stories” which you may order at www.joepeckonline.com or call (518) 584-4129.
