Triadic closure and balanced relationships
http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/a42511/interracial-marriage-mother-in-law/
I was reading the magazine Cosmo when I came across this story about a woman becoming friends with her soon to be mother in law. I thought it was a great example of triadic closure as well as balancing triad relationships.
First, the man of the story has two strong connections. One is his mother who obviously he has lived with his whole life. He has a strong relationship with her. The second relationship he has is with his girlfriend. In the story they have been dating for awhile and thus would have a strong relationship. The theory of triadic closure is that if a person like this man has two strong relationships, there is an increased likelihood that the two people who do not have a relationship with each other will meet someday and start a relationship. This situation of course came true as the man and woman began to think about getting married. The next logical step would be to have the woman meet her future mother in law. In the article the mother meets her son’s girlfriend for a weekend. There was no way the son could get married without his future wife meeting his family. The mother and the soon to be daugher in law may not have a strong connection, but they would eventually have to have a connection.
The next part of the story is that the mother and the woman did not get along. The mother and son are Indian while the woman is white and the mother does not like this. The woman makes some mistakes like eating the food that the mother makes incorrectly. When talking to her son the mother only speaks in their native language instead of English so that the woman does not know what the mother is saying. The mother and the woman’s relationship escalates to one night where the mother accidently walks in on the woman naked in the bathroom. This situation follows an unbalanced triad. The son and mother have a positive relationship, and the son and his girlfriend have a positive relationship. However the mother and the girlfriend have a negative relationship. This triad is unbalanced because it does not make sense why the girlfriend and the mother would not get along when they both have positive relationships with their son/boyfriend. For the sake of the family and wedding they all need to get along. I think anyone in a relationship who does not get along with their significant other’s family understands this situation. While people get married all the time even when they do not like their in-laws, in makes life very tricky. Weddings can be hard to plan when you don’t get along, and there will be many awkward family events in the future. Imagine wedding planning where the bride wants a certain type of flowers and the mother in law wants a different type. Instead of working together they will just be pitted against each other. Eventually this strain could begin to harm the boyfriends relationship with either his mother or his girlfriend which could lead to dire consequences. A balanced relationship where everyone gets along just helps everyone lead a better life.
Eventually the mother and woman begin to get along. The mother apologizes for her behavior and says she will love whoever her son chooses to marry, which enforces the balanced principle of a triad where every member has a positive relationship with the other members.