Friends of Friends: The Gateway to More Friends
From: http://www.afr.com/leadership/17-psychological-tricks-that-will-make-people-like-you-immediately-20160802-gqjoyd
There are many ways one can increase one’s likelihood of gaining friends. In this article on the Financial Review, Shana Lebowitz provides a list of 17 psychological reasons that will help make people like you immediately. Some methods of gaining friends and building one’s social network are a bit more intuitive than others. For example, let’s look at the first reason provided: “Copy Them.” There’s an old adage along the lines of, “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” Mimicking one’s behavior is indicative that one wants to be like the person one copies. Other reasons such as smiling, being complimentary, and letting others talk about themselves are also among the first reasons many people think of when trying to build and establish new friendships.
A slightly less intuitive way to increase one’s likelihood of gaining friends, at least a reason I had never really thought of before the start of this course, is to make friends through mutual friends. The article brings up the fundamental concept of triadic closure, which essentially states that “if two people in a social network have a friend in common, then there is an increased likelihood that they will become friends themselves at some point in the future.” Based on a program conducted by students at the University of British Columbia designed to show the triadic closure property at work, it was shown that the likelihood of someone accepting a friend request on Facebook increased nearly fourfold when comparing those with no mutual friends (20%) to those with at least 11 mutual friends (nearly 80%).
Triadic closure can be further showcased through a hypothetical yet realistic scenario that I’ll attempt to present. Let’s say we have three college students: Bob, Mike, and John. After only a semester as roommates, Bob and Mike have become best friends; the pair spent roughly 10 hours a day in the same room, went out to the same parties at night, and grabbed lunch together several times a week. Mike and John are also very close friends. They play on the same club soccer team, take three classes together, and went to the same high school. Given their close mutual friend, Mike, the triadic closure concept would posit that Bob and John will likely become friends. The first reason behind this concept is opportunity. Because Mike spends a lot of time with both Bob and John, there is increased likelihood that there will come a day when Bob and John’s paths will cross. Perhaps, Mike will invite them to lunch at the same time, or Bob will run into him when he and John are coming out of class. The second reason is trust. If both Bob and John are aware that the other is friends with Mike, they are more likely to trust one another than a random pair of strangers, who share nothing in common. Bob will probably reason that if John is good friends with Mike, he will probably get along with John as well as both he and Mike are likely to share common interests or character traits. A third, and less apparent reason, behind triadic closure is incentive. If Mike is good friends with both Bob and John, there is a chance that he will have to bring the two of them together. Mike may get stressed if Bob and John are not friends, as this could build up potential tension; he will likely worry about the possibility that the two may not get along. As a result, Mike will be enticed to introduce the two and try to establish rapport between them.