(Originally shared October 9, 2023)
October 11 is National Coming Out Day. This day recognizes lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, non-binary, intersex, asexual, and queer people choosing to live openly as their authentic selves by sharing this identity with others. Coming out is not a one-time choice or conversation, but a process LGBTQ+ folks must do repeatedly in different spaces and with various people.
While the term coming out is a common way to refer to a person sharing their LGBTQ+ identity with others, some feel that a term like inviting in is more appropriate and accurate. LGBTQ+ people are inviting colleagues and peers to recognize a delicate and historically difficult aspect of their life, which takes tremendous strength and trust to share. Furthermore, the idea that a person must “come out” only if they identify as LGBTQ+ reinforces the heteronormative and cisnormative culture in the United States; the idea that being heterosexual and cis-gender is the “normal” state. This clip from the movie “Love, Simon” portrays this perceived norm in a humorous light.
Sadly, it is not safe for LGBTQ+ people to come out in all spaces or to all people. Those who are often find it to be a freeing and empowering experience. The most important thing to know is that it’s always the choice of the individual to come out, or invite others in. It’s never ok to share another person’s LGBTQ+ identity – or any identity – without their permission or in settings where it is not public knowledge. If you don’t know if it’s ok to share, ask first.
Suggestions for celebrating National Coming Out Day
- If you have come out or are considering coming out, the Human Rights Campaign has resources for joyfully living as your authentic self.
- If someone comes out to you, make them the focus of the conversation. Your questions and feelings are less important in that moment. Read (or listen to) more on how to be supportive.
- Register for the LGBTQ+ Safe Zone Training offered by Family Counseling Service of the Finger Lakes at Cornell AgriTech on October 20, 2023 1-4 PM, and learn how to become a better ally. Please register by October 17.
At AgriTech we grow things – including a community that celebrates diverse identities.
Sincerely,
Anna Katharine Mansfield and Amara Dunn-Silver
AgriTech DEI Council co-chairs