By Kerri Kreh Reda, M.P.H.
I’m sure you have heard of distracted driving, but what about distracted parenting? For years there has been concern about children’s use of technology. Numerous studies point to health, behavior, and learning issues. But there is growing concern about the impact that parents’ technology use has on their children. Children need attention from their parents. When parents are attuned to their babies and respond with appropriate facial responses, it makes their babies feel important and secure. Children whose parents interact with high levels of responsiveness rate higher on pro-social behaviors, whereas a lack of parental responsiveness can negatively impact attachment, which in turn can negatively impact social-emotional development.
When parents are distracted by technology, they cannot be attuned to their children. When your child sees you looking at your device, it is a blank stare they see; very much like the still-face experiments done in the 1970s (you can see an example of this online) and not the animated expressions they are looking for. When we check in to our devices, we check out of what is right in front of us; our children. Parents’ technology use is associated with fewer interactions, both verbal and nonverbal, with their children.
These interactions are critical, especially for young children, in order to learn language, learn about emotions and how to manage them, and learn social skills. These are achieved from face-to-face interactions with parents and other caring adults. These skills are called social intelligence skills (or may be referred to as soft skills or even executive function skills) and are considered a better predictor of school and later success than IQ level.
These interactions are not just important for young children. Older children also need attention from their parents. All children thrive in the context of loving relationships with their parents, but technology is threatening these relationships. In fact, growing literature indicates that greater technology use is associated with greater relationship dysfunction between parents and children.
Parents’ technology use is also associated with child behavior issues. When children feel as though they are competing with our devices for attention, they often misbehave as a way of capturing our attention. Additionally, a ten percent increase in childhood injuries during the years between 2005 and 2010 suggests that parents may be distracted by their devices when supervising children.
Let’s make a point of putting down our phones and really engaging with our children. Listen to what they have to say and respond to them. Make a point of connecting with your children every day, and do your best to be a good role model with your technology use. Here are some suggestions:
- Create a family plan for technology. Have spaces and times of day that are technology- free, such as the dinner table and in bedrooms.
- When dropping your child off at child care or saying good-bye as they leave for school, be present. When you pick them up at the end of the day, reconnect with them – device free.
- Get up thirty minutes early to take care of your technology needs, so that when your children wake up, you can focus on them without distraction.
- Take one day off a week from technology use. This helps re-set the brain, and allows for activities that don’t happen otherwise, such as family walks or playing games together.
Here are two articles you may be interested in reading:
AAP News – Cell Phone Takes Parents’ Attention away from Kids on Playground
Positive Parenting -Building Healthy Relationships With Your Kids
Kerri Kreh Reda, M.P.H., is a Human Development Specialist with Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County’s Family Health and Wellness Program. She can be reached at 631-727-7850 ext. 330 or at kkr5@cornell.edu.