Children aren’t born racists – they are taught to be.
Many parents are concerned about how they can talk to their children about the unrest in our nation. We not only need to start these conversations about race and racism, we need to keep these conversations going long after the protestors are gone. When our country is no longer in this state of outrage, we need to make sure all children see black people as equals and not just as victims of oppression. But right now, if you are talking to your kids about the killings and protests, make sure you speak honestly and in an age-appropriate way.
- You can start having conversations about race as early as preschool age. You should begin by discussing racial differences in a positive light. If a white child asks why another child has brown skin, a parent can take this opportunity to explain what melanin (the pigment in our skin) is, and to talk about how wonderful it is that the world has so many different kinds of people.
- Older children will be much more aware of what’s going on right now, from overhearing the news, their parents talking, or simply noticing what is going on outside in their neighborhoods. Once you assess what they know, you can have a conversation about racism without being too explicit.
- With children in elementary school, you should focus on how unfairly black and brown people have been treated throughout American history. Fairness is something all children can understand.
- If you live someplace where people are actively protesting and your children have observed some destruction, you should reassure your kids that you are there to keep them safe. You can also explain why people are protesting and show them positive images of protests from our history.
- Allow your children to express their feelings about what you’re discussing as they may be angry, sad, or scared. It’s important to validate how children feel and answer any questions honestly.
- Parents can let their children know that the important adults in their lives are working really hard to make sure these injustices don’t continue in our city, country and world.
- Respect your children’s feelings. If talking about race is too upsetting for them, take a break and leave the door open for future conversations.
- In addition to keeping an open dialogue about racism, raise children who are respectful of all people by including books with black people as central figures in your home library. Children’s literature can be a great way to start difficult conversations. See link below for suggested books.
Dr. Nia Heard-Garris, an attending physician at the Ann and Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago, was recently quoted in a NY Times article: “The best advice I can give parents is to be models for the attitudes, behavior and values that they wish to see in their children. It is not enough to talk about racism, you must strive to be anti-racist and fight against racist policies and practices. If you have the privilege, make space, speak up or amplify issues of inequity and injustice. Children see everything.”
For more information, check out the links below:
They’re Not Too Young to Talk About Race:
https://ccpcs.libguides.com/c.php?g=663599&p=5728255
These Books Can Help You Explain Racism and Protest to Your Kids
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/02/parenting/kids-books-racism-protest.html
10 Tips for Teaching and Talking to Kids About Race:
https://www.embracerace.org/resources/teaching-and-talking-to-kids
Raising Race Conscious Children:
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