By Nancy Olsen-Harbich, MA
Anyone who has ever lived with a preschooler knows that children often lose it or go over the brink into meltdown when they are tired, hungry, or otherwise feeling at the end of their ropes. The trigger for the meltdown is often not a truly stressful situation, but can be as simple as a request to “put on your shoes” or a “funny look” from a sibling.
If your normally cheerful and positive preschooler seems to be disintegrating into tears more often than usual, take some time to think about what may be going on in her life. Maybe she:
- is getting less attention than usual because you are preoccupied with work or family concerns? Is she coming down with a cold or ear infection
- is struggling to adjust to a new and more demanding schedule—a new preschool or visitors in the household?
Try to make adjustments to get her back on an even keel.
An Ounce of Prevention…
Bedtime
- Children need more sleep than most of them get. If you have not established a reasonable bedtime and routine that relaxes your child and sooths frayed nerves at the end of the day, your child may have meltdowns over going to bed and staying there.
- Tip: Decide on a bedtime (somewhere between 7:30-8:30 is reasonable for preschoolers) and begin a half-hour in advance with activities that quiet and ready the child for sleep, such as stories and calming music.
Food
- Children need to eat at regular intervals throughout the day. Their small stomachs don’t hold as much “fuel” as ours do, so they need healthy snacks in between meals to keep from running out of gas.
- Tip: Before beginning an outing, have a meal or snack at home. Then take along some crackers in case you get stuck on line or in traffic. Ask for some bread or an appetizer to share if you anticipate a wait at a restaurant.
Downtime
- Children need “downtime” to recharge their batteries. If you have ever attended a family holiday gathering where children seem to be experiencing meltdown in every corner of the house, you have witnessed how too little space, too much noise, and too much stimulation can throw a young child into overload.
- Tip: Go outside for a walk with your child or organize an adult-supervised quiet activity in the house. If you are visiting, consider a graceful exit. Remember that a brief but mostly pleasant visit is always more fondly remembered by everyone than a longer one that ends in a meltdown.
As children mature, their coping abilities increase. In the mean time, do what you can to prevent meltdowns by planning for your child’s needs for food, rest, and a less hectic pace.
Nancy Olsen-Harbich is Program Director and a Human Development Specialist with Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County’s Family Health and Wellness Program. She can be reached at 631-727-7850 ext. 332 or at no18@cornell.edu.