The angst and uncertainty of what a new school year brings is upon us. As a parent with two teenage boys in high school, my oldest entering his senior year, and my youngest, a neuro-divergent person in tenth grade, our heads are already spinning. But it’s all good, we got this!

To help us transition, we first needed to work out a feasible schedule for everyone involved and allow for thinking, breathing time, and unexpected changes during this period. Since parents/caregivers are responsible for transportation, meals, the child’s well-being, and extracurricular activities, the surplus of tasks can sometimes be impactful to the other family member(s). How can each family member contribute to help with the upcoming year?  Can different chores be allocated? We need to have a family meeting to explain the need for collaboration and contributions.  Then, we ask them which chores they wouldn’t mind doing.

Here’s what I have done so far to re-calibrate for school starting…

I try to be one step ahead during the waning summer season by gathering all the essential school supplies needed for school, organizing and assessing clothing, and purchasing some long-shelf-life, healthy snacks as best as possible. About two weeks before school starts, we also begin to scale back on late nights, to help them adapt to the upcoming new schedule. This practice is especially helpful for younger kids.

Lastly, I created a visual schedule of the upcoming school year based upon what the schools have provided for each child. This includes school events, extracurricular activities, family events, and anything else that needs to be on the calendar.  Having a visual schedule can provide a better sense of what you want to accomplish and helps with smooth and seamless transitions.

This is an excellent time to discuss with our children the activities they would like to participate in and which ones are most important. This is a perfect opportunity for your child/children to voice their concerns and expectations.  It also is a time for us to reflect on how much they are engaged in and how much each child needs. Some children do better with a lot on their plate.  Other children, need down time to decompress and re-group. It is a great conversation to have with each child and have them voice their thoughts about their activities and workload.

Other things to consider are to allow ample time to dedicate to homework and reading. Setting routines and discussing them with our family will help as they transition from school to home.  This may be a time to assess bedtimes and allow older children to determine when they will manage homework, bath/shower times, etc.

How does a parent manage a new school year’s various worries and unknowns? To help manage stress it is helpful to practice self-care.  I practice some breathing techniques to give me the opportunity to rethink my options and at times be more flexible. The best way I have found is by walking alone for at least thirty minutes daily, without distractions, just me and my thoughts. This gives me time for ME while moving my body and breathing well.  Studies have shown that walking improves your mood, decreases anxiety and stress, clears your mind, helps with creative thoughts, while adding energy and endurance.

If walking is not an option, other ideas include:  listening to a favorite podcast, reading a short article, watching a movie, talking or meeting with a friend or family member.

Once school begins, how do you navigate school resources to help you and your child? I take time the first few weeks learning all the teachers’ names and their primary classroom expectations.  This can be via communication they send home, attending open houses, and reaching out to them if I cannot attend. As a parent of someone with a developmental disability who is unable to communicate their needs as other children do, staying connected to the teaching team providing direct service, is very important to me. For the high schooler, who will soon be graduating, encouraging the skill of self-advocacy is a goal. We try to only step in if other issues or matters need to be addressed.

Life happens… We need to be kind to ourselves and realize that we cannot plan for everything. We not only need to show compassion to our children, but also to ourselves.

Allowing your child to grow, navigate different experiences and utilize their independence by peer interactions, is a great way to develop or enhance their social skills and self-esteem.

Even with the best plan, things happen.

Take a deep breath and know that you got this!

Happy New School Year and much success to you and your families as you start the new school year.

Addy