Two Satirical Quotes from the Satirical Kings

While tonight’s Pennsylvanian primary might be a trying time for the Obama and Clinton campaigns, it seems to be a good time to lighten the mood a little with two funny political quotes from the two best political comedians.

“Sir I can tell you what the real concern is. If you [Sen. Obama] are fortunate enough to get the democratic nomination and fortunate enough to become president of the United States, will you pull a bait-and-switch sir and enslave the white race?”     — Jon Stewart while interviewing Barack Obama

Obama’s response: That’s not our plan Jon, but your paranoia might make you suitable as a debate moderator.


“Have you ever heard of the dribble down economic theory? We give everything to the super rich, they gobble everything up, and then some of it trickles down into their beard and the poor get to climb up their chest and suck the nutrition of what’s left over in the rich guy’s beard. Is that too complicated for you?”     –Stephen Colbert’s take on supply side economics while interviewing Senator Bernard Sanders.*

*Sen. Sanders is one of two independent senators and considers himself a socialist. He caucuses with the Democrats.

The Honorable Governor from Arkansas

Cornell was fortunate to welcome former governor and Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee to campus for a talk on religion in politics. Of all the social conservatives out there, I respect him for 1) his defense of Reverend Jeremiah Wright 2) his social policies that deal with the poor and underprivileged. Too often social conservatives talk about stem cell research, gay marriage, and abortion without paying any attention to the underrepresented on this world. Sure, go ahead and argue for the life of those yet to be born, but don’t forget about the right of those on death row. Don’t forget about the starving and homeless struggling to live or all of those who have and who will lose their life in Iraq and Afghanistan. If you’re going to make a religious argument against gay marriage and abortion because it’s morally and religiously correct, then also argue for the poor and defenseless citizens as well as the environment because that is also a moral argument. This is where my respect for Mike Huckabee comes in. He is out there fighting for social programs that democrats support as well as social issues that republicans place on their pedestal. He’s taken his moralities and transcended them across party lines. Whereas fellow Catholic and Senator of Kansas, Sam Brownback stands in front of Congress and shows pictures of stem cells his daughter drew.

While Huckabee was still in the running for the republican nomination I came to respect him for his unwavering views though I disagreed with several and for his respect of all beliefs and viewpoints. He also showed his humor on the Colbert Report. What I came to believe about him from watching his presence on tv did not fall short to what I saw on stage last night at Bailey Hall. He was funny, genuine, honest, and open. He wasn’t afraid to make statements that he knew many in the building would disagree with (after all Cornell is a pretty liberal campus). He poked fun at himself, made a joke about John McCain being old, and made sure people knew that he wasn’t talking to promote his political agenda. The sense in that building was one of mutual respect between the audience and the speaker.

He explained what made him a republican, and it wasn’t his family seeing that all of them are democrats. His main reason was a belief in small government, though he made sure to state that government can only become small when people choose to be morally upstanding. His argument was that how people act directly affects the size of government, not the other way around. I was able to follow the reasoning, but got lost as soon as he tried to bring it to why he became a republican. I think the pitfall was the simplicity of his argument.

Nonetheless, the Cornell Republicans could not have picked a better speaker to represent the social conservative viewpoint in politics. Huckabee isn’t a Robertson or a Fallwell and that is for the better. He presented his point humanely and respectfully, which, from the chatting of the departing audience, I could tell was received very well.

The Sport with a Horse

This post is long overdue. Our polo team came second in the nation at the NCAA tournament with a 20-10 loss to Texas A&M.  Just think of them as the Memphis Tigers of college polo. Of all the sports I know, which include cricket, rugby, and squash, polo is not one of them. All I know is that their national sports emblem should be the Ralph Lauren logo, similar to how Jerry West is the silhouette for the NBA.

Nonetheless, my point is that even though you don’t see Cornell on the national football stage and the only appearances the nation sees of Cornell is when our men’s basketball team lost to Stanford by 25+ points and women’s lost to Connecticut by 30+ points since hockey, lacrosse, and wrestling aren’t as highly televised as the big two (football and basketball) we’re dominant in many sports. When I was looking at colleges, I took each institution’s “athletic atmosphere” into consideration. During that time Cornell ranked at the bottom of my list as did every other Ivy I was applying to because of the figurative blinders that were covering my eyes. Now that I’ve been here for three years I appreciate the presence of Cornell sports whether it be both basketball teams making it to the tournament or a polo team that I’ve never seen because they play off campus ranking second in the nation. Don’t make the same mistake I did, we might lose to Michigan in football, but we’ll beat them in lacrosse as well as several other sports…including hockey (though not this year).

The Beginning of the End

Today was the first day of my senior year experiences. It began with my senior portrait. 5 minutes of sitting down and smiling and holding a fake cap and wearing a fake gown. It will end with me holding a real cap and wearing a real gown in another year and a month. We’ll see how the road between the two points goes. I have a feeling it will be fun. Graduating and leaving college, not so much.

Pao Bhangra!

Cornell’s most attended student show (not including sporting events) ocurred last night in Barton Hall. A couple thousand students and families made the trek up the hill to watch Cornell’s Bhangra team as well as other teams from around the region dance the night away.

Pao means to do, and bhangra is an Indian and Pakistani dance that includes up-tempo bass lines. The dances can be more modern in style or leaning towards the traditional. Whatever the style, the music is as lively as one could imagine. Usually, modern Indian music is the prime choice, but there are instances where Rihanna, Fort Minor, and Justin Timberlake make a cameo in the musical selections, though it isn’t for long.

It’s extremely entertaining. No performer is ever seen by the audience not smiling. In fact the stage looks so cheerful with the smiling dancers and bright, beautiful costumes that those who attend the event are guaranteed to be happy for the next week. If you fail a test, are rejected for a job, or break up with your girl/boyfriend, have no fear for if you went to last night’s Bhangra show you’ll be too happy to even notice.

Congratulations Class of 2012!

First off, congrats! Second, it’s scary in my shoes to write 2012 seeing my year is 2009…not even in double digits. As you decide whether to come to Cornell or Harvard (the former is the better choice), choose which meal plan to subscribe to ( my preference: 14 meals a week, $500 big red bucks), read all about the different housing options (Mews 1st floor!), decide whether to get a gym pass (the walking takes care of the freshman 15), and brag to your friends about where you’ll be spending the next 4 years of your life (or 5 for the architects) I am fretting about the next 4 years of my life, which classes to take as a senior, graduate programs to look into, how the heck the new just the facts works, etc. Enjoy your time in high school where school work is irrelevant. Your four years in college will be challenging, fun, and most of all, quick. It truly does fly by.

Congratulations again. And don’t forget, Hail all hail Cornell!