Coping with Uncertainity

It’s hard to believe that this semester is almost over. Finals start in four days and in two weeks, I will be back home for winter break. Yet, with the number of assignments and projects that were due this week, it didn’t feel anything like the last week of classes. In fact, it is probably the most stressful period of the semester.

As I look at the CS course management system which lists all the homeworks, exams, assignments and your scores and mean and median scores in the class for each one, most rows now have data. I look at all my scores so far and compare it to the mean/median and try to estimate the grade I can expect. Since final grades are worth atleast 20% in all my classes, my estimates could be quite removed from the actual results.

Meanwhile, I am still looking for summer internships and I’m at various stages with different companies. In the cases where you’ve just applied and are hoping to get an interview, and when you’re done with your interviews and are waiting to hear back, the key word is “waiting”. There is nothing to do but wait.I check my email an unhealthy number of times each day as I’m waiting to hear back. I also do that at the end of the semester – when I check Student Center five times a day for grades.

When I’m uncertain about these results, am I expected to simply forget about it and go on with my life? As an average human, I find that extremely hard to do. I can’t hope for the best either because the higher my hopes, the worse my potential fall. I can’t completely abandon hope either because until I know for sure, atleast a small part of me will want the best outcome. So in these last couple weeks, as the finish line approaches, all I hope for is the maturity to accept whatever will happen at the end – be it favorable or not.

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