Arts Quad, Assemble!
You know it’s summertime when homework is nonexistent and you’re already wondering if seeing The Avengers for the third time would constitute crossing the line.
I’m not even a big Marvel fan, but since Joss Whedon and I go way back (i.e. I’m obsessed with Angel and Buffy), I thought the flick that’s taking box offices by (god-induced thunder)storm might be worth watching. Naturally, I fell in love–so much so that I’ve started to interpret everything through an Avengers lens. I spend each day fretting over which team member I most resemble, I mentally rewrote a gender-swapped version of the movie (featuring only one male: Black Widower), and I’ve decided that Cornell would be at least twenty percent cooler if the Avengers visited the campus. Just imagine catching a glimpse of Hawkeye shooting arrows straight across the gorge on your way to class or perusing the archives with Steve Rogers!
Unfortunately, since the gang of six is busy being fictional, this beautiful dream of mine might never come true.
Ah, but wait! Dear readers, that’s where this Official Guide to the Secret Avengers Personalities of Arts Quad+* Buildings comes in!
(Come on, I’m on vacation. Humor me, won’t you?)
*So a couple of these places aren’t technically on the Arts Quad. Well, Clint and Natasha weren’t technically part of the comics’ original Avengers team. Deal with it.
1. Thor: Goldwin Smith Hall
Okay, anyone who knows me very well might find this first connection a little suspicious. Since I’m an English major, it’s pretty obvious that Goldwin Smith is my Valhalla. It’s equally true that Thor is my absolute favorite avenger (which I swear has more to do with my interest in Norse mythology than Chris Hemsworth’s pretty-boy nature). But seriously, where else on campus are you more likely to find students capable of arguing for hours over whether or not the original Old Icelandic texts imply that Thor might, in fact, enjoy Pop Tarts?
I’m sure the coffee in Temple of Zeus would have Thor demanding “Another!” in no time.
2. Iron Man (Tony Stark): Physical Sciences Building
I’ll keep this one short and sweet. Nothing says “genius billionaire playboy philanthropist” like the new Physical Sciences Building. It’s shiny, modern, and filled with smart people. Plus, according to the Cornell Chronicle, the PSB is LEED Gold certified, which means this flamboyant newcomer is on the road to becoming as sustainably friendly as Stark Tower.
3. Captain America (Steve Rogers): Baker Lab
Bromance or not, Stark and Steve swiftly become two peas in a superhuman pod over the course of the film. What’s right near the PSB? Why, Baker Lab! Like Cap, Baker is classy, old-fashioned, and built sometime in the pre-WWII era, and it’s not hard to imagine this old-timer getting into constant spats with that flashy Tony Stark of a building next door.
4. Hawkeye (Clint Barton): Johnson Museum of Art
It was painfully tempting to align Hawkeye with Barton Hall (yes, I know, I’m so clever), but, in the end, my Johnson Museum favoritism beats my desire to create terrible name puns. Hawkeye tells Fury that he can see things better from above, and that’s certainly possible at the Johnson. Clint would probably pass the time pacing the fifth floor and taking advantage of the incredible view, which would give him a chance to stare lovingly at…
5. Black Widow (Natasha Romanoff): White Hall
Though I had a hard time classifying Natasha, I promise that the White Hall/Black Widow match has some reasoning behind it. Of the trio of near-identical humanities buildings on the Arts Quad, White is closest to the Johnson, making it easier for Clint and Nat to have each other’s backs. Although its outside rather resembles those of Morrill and McGraw, White has a surprisingly fancy interior, and is as sneaky and strong as Black Widow herself.
6. Bruce Banner/The Incredible Hulk: Rand Hall/Milstein Hall
Once upon a time, a desperate scientist named Dr. Banner decided to expose himself to a little gamma radiation. Suddenly, this ordinary man–who, like Rand Hall, was humble and mild-mannered–transformed into…
…a monstrous beast, filled with rage, fancy lights, and bizarre contemporary architecture! Now, the two are forced to live in harmony as Banner seeks peace with his inner Milstein Hall.
What do you think, Cornellians? Is there something on the Ag Quad that just screams Nick Fury? Are you reminded of Agent Coulson’s (warning: SPOILER ALERT) tragic fate every time you walk by Uris Library? Can you save me from my misery by finally telling me which Avenger I am? Feel free to assemble any comments and send them my way.
All images taken from Google searches and smashed together by the Hulk–I mean, Photoshopped poorly by me.
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