May 27, 2012

I just wanted to start off my final blog entry by thanking everyone that has supported and followed my blogging. Before blogging for Cornell, I was actually a very self-conscious writer. The fact that I got so much support has given me confidence, and I think I just may pursue blogging on my own!

But to get to the meat of things…

Today was commencement.

People have been asking me how I feel, and in reality, everyone, no matter what kind of Cornell experience, feels a mixture of many different emotions. Last night, I shared my last pitcher of sangria out on the patio of Collegetown Bagels with a few friends. We laughed and joked, fencing delicately around the subject of the impending graduation, and the fact that we will be in very different places in just a week.

I think that is what I will miss the most. Cornell is beautiful, and I will certainly miss the plantation trails that I’ve run this past year, the orchards where I sipped apple cider, the slope where I would find myself lost in thought, Sage Chapel where I would sit after difficult moments in my life to play piano or find inner peace, Olin Cafe where I spent the majority of my time doing work, MVR – my homebase, Savage Hall where I spent countless hours working on my thesis, and collegetown where I spent my time hanging out with those that meant most to me. But, what I will miss the most is the people, the fact that I could call Chloe at 1AM for pastina or Phillip at any time of day for a snack or Sara late at night to take a walk or Cameron for a midnight pitcher or Joe to accompany me on a night visit to Sage to accompany me on the piano, the proximity of close friends was what made college so special.

A few hours before the sangria, I found myself sitting in Bailey Hall listening to my last Chorus and Glee Club concert (props to Olivia, who has the most beautiful voice and one of my closest friends). As they finished off with the Alma Mater shoulder to shoulder, a song that I would repeat at least five times that weekend, I found myself tearing up, once again, feeling a vast mixture of emotions, from joy to sadness to sorrow to joy. There is a Korean saying that says that still water rots, meaning that our lives must flow on in order to stay clean and grow. However, sometimes, I wish someone could install a fountain in my still water, so that I could repeat some of those best moments in my life.

I guess the future holds many different things for me, or at least that’s what people all around me have been telling me. And I am certainly excited. But as I hugged my friends one last time throughout this beautiful, blue-skied graduation Sunday, I’ve realized that whatever great things may come in the future, I could not do it without the support of human love and connection. I’ve come a far way from my sophomore year of anti-social attitude and cynicism about friendships. All connections are meaningful, as long as you yourself are mature enough to be open and malleable.

Thank you to those that have offered to me those connections: my professors, especially, Professor Lovenheim and Professor Haas for your constant support, to my mentors Tracey Hsu and Alex Payne among many others, to my close friends, to my family, and to Cornell University. Our relationships will change, but the memories that we’ve shared will remain the same.

I’m (kind of) ready, world.

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