It’s been a difficult two days trying to crank out two final papers that were due today. Motivation to write these papers, despite them being extremely interesting topics, were at an all time low. I might’ve spent more time on Facebook than I did this entire semester (got yelled at last night for liking too many photos and overloading a few people’s notifications).
But now that the papers were handed in at 1:17PM today, I almost wish they hadn’t been. I’ve yet to post up a status on Facebook or tweet that my undergraduate career is over because for some reason, doing so seems to confirm that it is true. (Plus I think it’s kind of annoying when every single person does it hahaha). A few minutes ago, I leisurely walked through Olin Library, through Libe Café, where I’ve spent a majority of my senior year, working on my thesis, having meetings, or chilling with friends, through the first floor desks, specifically the one on the right side closest to the doors, where I spent my times cranking out papers or emails, and through the stacks, where I spent my underclassmen years stressing out about how I was going to get through this prelim or this final or this paper.
After having handed in my paper at 1:17PM, I stopped by my advisor’s office to say hi. I told him that I just handed in my final paper and that I was off to the library to do some reading up on HIV for my job next year and to continue working on some research materials. He told me to stop and have some fun.
And so, I’ve partially listened to his demand; I’m sitting outside Olin Library, people watching, making myself feel slightly more useful by writing this blog entry. I’ve been keeping myself on the go with the purpose of not having to really stop and think about what it means to be done. Because really, what is it? Happiness? Excitement? Fear? Sadness? Or perhaps, a mixture of them all.
In fact, Cornell has had such a large impact on my life that I don’t think I will ever be done leaving this institution. I want to stay involved as an alumnus; I want to interact with students who are going through what I did these past four years.
But still, it is true that the undergraduate chapter of my life is coming to a close, and I am opening up a new chapter. As difficult as it is to leave things behind, time doesn’t stop for you, you just make the most out of what you have. And… appreciate the exciting things that are to come.
But, for now, I think I’ll just sit here for a while more, and appreciate whatever this is right now.