The Coolest (and one Creepiest) Jobs on Campus

I have three of the coolest jobs on campus. First, I am paid to write (virtually) whatever I want here for many people, all over the world, to read. I am also a computer lab consultant for the ILR computer lab. In addition to having the cheapest printing on campus, the basement of Ives Hall is largely unoccupied between the hours of 7-11 on Thursday and Sunday nights, meaning I get a ton of work done with very few outside distractions.

My last job was the first job I got on campus. It is also probably the coolest job I have. It is also one of the creepier jobs at Cornell.

I am the varsity sports announcer. This job is sick. I am paid to watch Cornell’s sports teams and pick up a microphone every once in a while. I love it. The creepy part is that I know more about all of the athletes than is really socially acceptable. This is a problem when you meet an athlete in “the real world”. For example:

Tall gorgeous Woman’s Basketball Player: “Hi, my name is Susan”

Cullen: “Oh, I know who you are. Your name is Susan O’Callahan. You are from Nova Scotia, 5’10”, and set your career high scoring record last week.”

Tall gorgeous Woman’s Basketball Player: “You’re very creepy”

That particular party trick did not work the way I was hoping…

Secret Service?

Walking home from Classes on Friday, I passed a very strange sight outside of Duffield Hall:

Secret Service?
Secret Service?

What is going on on campus? I will say this much, the Cornell cops tended to not stand near the guys wearing suits. I noticed that the movies are not entirely inaccurate when displaying guards and agents and such. These guys all looked like they were sub-zeros with heads on top.

Update: The Czech President was visiting campus this past week…

Career Fair

The job search is in full swing, and it is miserable.

I have spent countless hours tweaking my resume, writing various cover letters, and running from info session to info session. Monday was nuts with three at one time. I couldn’t make any of the ones that I wanted to on Tuesday because of my Firefighter class, but at least I had the Career Fair to make up for that.

Ah, yes, the career fair, where thousands of us desecend on Barton to try to convince any potential employer to PLEASE take my resume. This picture doesn’t do the scene justice, as there were literally hundreds of people standing in the aisles off of the main thoroughfare. As the captain of Team Unemployment these days, my mom’s basement is looking more and more enjoyable.

Career Fair in Barton Hall
Career Fair in Barton Hall

The Year of the Freshman

I wrote about how I took (and passed!) the swim test with all the freshman earlier this semester. At the time, I thought that that would be pretty much the end of my freshman bonding experiences.

This is not the case.

A guy in my fraternity a few years ago was all set to graduate. When May rolled around though he found out that, oops, he was one class short. There was no way in hell I was going to let that happen to me, so I decided to meet with the ILR registrar to make sure I was on track. I was, and she even told me I could graduate early, IF I took a couple of different classes.

Now, I knew that I had put some things off. What I didn’t realize was that I had put off a bunch of entry level classes. My first week, 3 of my 5 classes were almost exclusively freshman. When a kid in Calc 111 (basic calc) looked at me and said “Hey, you live in Donlon right?”, I almost punched him in the face.

Needless to say, I changed a bunch of my classes. I now have one predominately freshman class, but also one completely architect class. If I was a CRP major, I could at least fake it. I’ll let you all in on a little secret though: ILR is about as far from architecture as you can possibly get. So this will be cool…

More importantly though is the number of freshman that seem to be dominating this campus. Having been here for 3 years now, I should be able to at least recognize all but one fourth of the campus. As I sat on the Arts quad the other day though, I discovered that this is not the case. There seem to be an awful lot of new faces around here these days.

Touring Tips

We’re rapidly approaching that dreaded season for high school seniors; applications are starting to be filled, visits are being made, school activities are being fudged (I won’t lie about it, I told everyone that I was the founder of the boys a Capella group at my high school. Sure, I founded it, we just never actually sang anything…)

But if I may offer one little tid-bit of advice to the families making their way to our campus in the next few weeks, it is this: be careful when you drive across campus. Not because you may hit some unsuspecting pedestrian, or because University Ave is still closed and still so inconvenient, but because it is nigh impossible to drive across campus at certain times.

In the game of man versus car, the car always wins. Sure, pedestrians technically have the right of way, but tell that to any New York City taxi driver and they will laugh at you. If I drove at Brian Urlacher, or Chuck Norris for that matter, there is little to no way that I am loosing that battle. Except between 10:05 and 10:11 am on Cornell’s campus.

That time is when it seems like every single bleary-eyed student is heading to class. Trying to through campus then (or around the 1:25 and 2:55 slots) makes traffic in LA seem like a breeze.

So families, be forewarned. If you are staying at the Clarion and think that you are making that 10:15 tour with Alex or Mack (by far, the two best tour guides here), you are sorely mistaken.