Social Etiquette

There are those that would claim Cornell is a “hook-up” culture. I’ll ignore for a second the obvious discrepancies in what exactly “hooking-up” is, and cover the culture instead.

What are the standards for “booty-call” texting? Let me be more specific, when is it no longer “socially acceptable” to text a girl, solely as conversation? For example, I was at home, minding my own business the other night, and I thought “hey, why not text Jane Smith?”

Well, sweet Jane did not take to my text in the way I thought she would. My “Hey, what’s up? Haven’t seen or heard from you in a while” was an obvious sexual advance that I was totally unawares of. As was my text to Jane’s sister, Janey Smith…that encounter went even more poorly, as my “So what’d you do tonight?” was clearly nothing more then my attempt to gauge how drunk she was.

So how does this work? When is the cut-off time where the texts we send to the opposite sex can be interpreted as friendly conversation, not sexual advances? Maybe I’ll even flatter Jane for a second and say I have a crush on her (I really do have a crush on Janey), but when do the texts cross the line between conversational inquiries and ‘clear’ sexual advances?

My 2 Goals at Cornell

I applied to be a tour guide freshman year. One of the questions that they asked was “What are your goals over the next four years and how will you accomplish them?” My witty, yet highly under-appreciated, answer was to not die. I will accomplish this by wearing a scarf to not catch hypothermia, studying so my mom doesn’t choose to murder me for my grades, and cutting my food so as to not choke. Needless to say, I had to find other sources of employment…

In actuality, I have two goals at Cornell: to have a sandwich named after me at either the Hot Truck or CTB, and to become “that cowbell guy”. My biggest problem with the sandwich is that I haven’t created anything so spectacular that everyone else wants to order it. So my name won’t forever be eternalized on the chalk board at CTB. Oh well…

As for being “that cowbell guy”, well hopefully, I’m on my way. For those that don’t know, the Cowbell Guy is a fabled tradition here at Cornell. He shows up to the hockey games, virtually every hockey game, with a cow bell.  A tradition started in 1972, it is played halfway through the 2nd period and again halfway through the 3rd. It has become a sort of lineage, with the cowbell passed down from die-hard fan to die-hard fan. My quest, to be come that guy.

Oy, what a week

When I came to college, my older cousin said “There is only one piece of advice I will give you: there are 3 S-es in college– sleep, social, and studying. Now pick two.”

Well this week, I could only pick one. I’ll give you a hint, it wasn’t quite as much fun as I hoped.

Today is the Sabbath. The day of rest, the holiest of holy. So in theory, my 2 prelims, 2 papers, 2 interviews and 1 speech should all be done right? Wrong.

Thanksgiving is so close, I can almost taste the turkey. That assumes  I make it there.

All Hallows Eve

For those of you that don’t know, Halloween is almost every College kid’s 4th favorite holiday. It is only preceded by Christmas (free stuff), Homecoming (especially if you’re a football school), and Slope Day (or whatever your equivalent is). Halloween provides us a poor excuse to dress up slutty, funny, cleverly, or whatever and hide yourself as you drink your face off. Tri-Delt Crush party being held at 5:45 this year did nothing to help that.

Halloween has been totally ruined for me though due to the fact that it is no longer socially acceptable to go trick-or-treating. I used to think that this was one of the coolest holidays EVER. You went door-to-door and demanded candy from strangers. And if they didn’t have any, you would TP their house later. How sweet is that??

Freshman year, I decided to break down barriers. I went trick-or-treating. Alone. This in itself was depressing. It was made worse by the fact that I went to my Professor’s house. And I hit rock-bottom when the people across the street from my Professor (I had emailed him to warn that I was coming…) told me that this “shenanigan” was not okay. I never wanted to grow up damnit!

After boycotting Halloween last year, I tried again this year. Thursday night saw me at a sailing party dressed as Scooby Doo with the roles of Shaggy and Freddie played by my friends. Friday brought a Masquerade ball at my house with dates (my date was pretty awesome. This was the first time I had asked a girl to a college event. I don’t want to admit that but, it will be a post for another time. Maybe.) And Saturday, Charlie Brown was spotted at a Sorority Crush Party and a College Town Apartment Extravaganza.

Needless to say, I am exhausted and have decided to boycott Halloween again, forever. It is far too much work, and there is not enough free candy. Also, I was kicked out of the College Town apartment “for life” because my humor is not as appreciated as I think it should be. So if you’re  reading this at Collegetown Plaza, I apologize…